Totally Random Friday

While it is my goal to post on this blog daily (with a picture too, hopefully), I’m kind of in a pissy mood today. I’m tired. My hubby is leaving on a week long business trip early Sunday morning, and thinking about being alone with the kids, managing the house, having few friends here in Tucson (most have moved away), and no family on the left side of the country is really daunting. J helps me out alot with everything:  parenting, bathing (the kids….I can bathe without help ’cause I’m a big girl!), cleaning, etc. But then I think about my friend Anje back home whose husband is deployed, as well as my military MWOP gals and single mothers, and I feel like a guilty, whiny bitch.

I have decided that today I am going to write about random crap that has crossed my mind recently. Perhaps I’ll do this once a week because, seriously, my brain NEVER shuts off. Brace yourself.

I decided for shits and giggles a while back to celebrate “Giant Blue Church Hat” day after seeing this fine specimen on clearance for $10. Back home alot of ladies have church hats. I don’t go to church, mind you, but I’m all for a bold fashion statement. Plus, it made G giggle uncontrollably all day long.

This is G wearing the church hat. And some awful clip-on earrings. He is definitely my son!

G is in kindergarten, and he has a homework packet that he must complete every week. I’m thinking I should supervise him more while he does it. FAIL.

This is me and my darling husband, J. We went to the same high school in the same teeny-tiny town in Georgia. We didn’t have any classes together though because I’m a year older than he is. We met in college purely by accident after a misdirected e-mail ended up with his name on it. We went on a few dates, but nothing ever came of it. He didn’t even kiss me. Shortly thereafter he transferred to GA Tech, and I finished my nursing degree. We both eventually married and divorced. One summer, while working in Anchorage, AK as a travel nurse, I got on and saw his name. I sent him a “How ya doing?”email, and we were married a year later. This year will be our 10th anniversary together and 9th wedding anniversary.

I seriously wish I could hop on a plane and go to an island in the South Pacific or to the Maldives. I love Google Earth and can spend hours looking at pictures from all over the world. I would LOVE to be on a beautiful, secluded beach just relaxing and playing with my kids and J. Hell, I’d be content to be there alone too. I like my alone time.

I hate pretentious people. If you have to take extra pains to let me know your purse is Kate Spade, your ring is platinum and not white gold, and you use finishing salt/medjool dates/golden currants in your recipes then I don’t really like you.

G saw a commercial for something the other day that had a “word” phone number, like 1-888-REALLY-FUN. He was begging and begging to order it, but money is tight. I told him Our phone only has numbers on it, and we need a special “letter phone” to call that number. He totally bought it.

P farted and scared himself. I died laughing and dribbled coffee down the front of my shirt. I am such a good mother.

I cannot wait for monsoon season to get here! I miss thunderstorms and hurricanes, so I look forward to the Southwest’s rainy season that runs from the beginning of July to mid-September. During this time we can see afternoon storms 3-4 days a week. After that we won’t have a cloudy day or rain until winter.

If doctors play golf, do pediatricians play miniature golf?

I seriously miss my parents and my brother. We were a family who ate dinner together every night at 6:00 growing up, and now we are scattered in 3 different states. I see my parents usually twice a year, and a good year is seeing my brother once. I skype with my parents almost everyday so they can see the kids and be grandparents. It’s sad that they have to be grandparents over the computer (because my brother and his family are far away as well), but, hey, that’s what technology is for.

Some days I am sick of having rosacea. My face is always red. Today someone knocked on the door trying to sell me a home security system; they saw me and said, “Good Morning….wow…what’s wrong with your face?”  I’m normally not rude, but I snapped, “Nothing. What’s wrong with your face?” Yeah. I didn’t buy a home security system.

The baby is sleeping right now, and I can’t get motivated to clean or do dishes. Fuck it. Today I’m letting the housework slide.

I want a blueberry donut.

This is P a couple of weeks ago. I can just eat him up. I love babies at this age.

At my last well-woman check up the doctor (a man) told me, “You can never be too rich, too thin, or too close to the end of the table.” Yeah. I just adore strange men who crack jokes while messing around in my lady business. I have totally been putting off making an appointment for my next visit.

My membership to Costco has paid for itself several times over, but I fucking HATE going there. I’m mentioning this because I need to go today for TP and a few other items. You know what drives me up the wall? Assholes who go to Costco just to eat samples. They will leave their giant shopping carts wherever and walk around having a lunch studded with toothpicks and tiny disposable spoons. “Harvey, this is good salsa! How much is it?”  “Hmmmm…..$4.99 for a 20 gallon drum. Is that a good deal?”  “I don’t know. Look Harvey! There is another sample of salsa over there! And look! Twenty feet away there are sausages, tofu cubes, Tang, and rice milk!” Ugh. Gag me.

I heard that they are making a 4th Austin Powers movie. I am disproportionally excited about that.

I dreamed last night I was a cast member on Saturday Night Live. That is my ultimate dream job and has been since I was 12 and watched my first episode.

My back itches.

I think I’m done now.


33 thoughts on “Totally Random Friday

  1. I am a lurker at the other site you comment on. I love your screen name and the stuff you wrote yesterday on there was hilarious. I was excited to see you have a new blog and I will come back to read more!!!

  2. OK, I'll make you a deal: if I ever make it to Tel Aviv or you make it to Arizona, we just won't go to Costco together, ok?

  3. Also a lurker on that other site. πŸ™‚ Just have to say, aren't people SO rude about rosacea? I have it too and hate when people make comments. As if I'm not self-conscious enough about it! Love the blog!

  4. Thank you. You need to come out of hiding and comment! I hate the rosacea. I wear makeup, but my skin is sensitive. Plus, no makeup provides complete coverage. I'm used to it I guess, but it would be nice to go through life not looking like an obese tomato with hair, ya know?

  5. Love your honesty blog. Love your slanted sense of humor. Love your normal, everyday, average, perfectly centered adorable pictures. And one word of advice (okay, it's two words but whatever). Clinique Redness. It is the BOMB (that is NOT a threat. I am not bombing your red face or mine.). You will never have pink or red showing to the salesman at the door again. I use the Redness foundation and also the redness powder. The powder for redness is yellow and it turns me tan. Red + yellow = tanned skin in rosacea launguage. You're welcome. πŸ™‚ I will now be referred to as your new best friend after sharing that with you. Oh, please paypal me $19.95 a month for helping you. You're welcome again. I know you are saying "thanks for hooking me up".

  6. I will have to look into that! I'm using Neutrogena makeup right now, but it's only marginally better than other brands I've tried. It's a shame I don't know your name. I would say it on my blog and refer to you as my "makeup gal" and tell people I scored. Oh, well. And thank you for your kind words about the blog, sense of humor, etc. Pretty soon my head is going to be as big as my ass!

  7. I strongly suggest you make your comments to have to be moderated. Otherwise, you will get all kinds of spammers that will leave very many links to very not nice websites in your comments. I also left you a suggestion under day 1. Carry on.

  8. *Applause*I already told you I love your sense of humor. Keep this up, and you'll have ads before long… especially if you are getting a bunch of hits already.Popcorn and wine in hand… I've subscribed and will be waiting for your next post. (Hi, Snookie!)

  9. I used to be "FarmGirlDoingWithoutChipotle" but I can't say I am anymore. I have had chipotle way too often now and my ass is showing it. πŸ˜‰ I wish I knew of a good diet plan or magic pill to xing my ass into skinnydom. Any advice? Other than giving up the burritos? So I guess I am FarmGirlEnjoyingHerChipotle now. And you will seriously LOVE the Clinique Redness makeup as much as I love my Chipotle if you try it. Promise.

  10. A couple of years ago I bought a Kate Spade knock off that looked SO real… except every time someone would compliment me on it I felt compelled to tell them it wasn't real. I didn't want people to think I'd spend that much on a purse. One day after I blurted out "it's fake!" to someone, my husband looked at me and said "honey, I think you're missing the point."

  11. Thank you for the kind words! In all honesty, I enjoy making people laugh but I really don't think about what I say. I just flies out of my mouth.

  12. Thank you! I bloggeed for a wee bit when my first child was an infant, but this is the first time I've ever talked about me and what going through my head. Thank you for reading πŸ™‚

  13. LOL! I tried so hard to fit in with the kids in high school that I bought a fake (but totally real looking) Dooney and Burke purse, wallet, and keychain. I was cool for about 2 weeks until the fake logo fell off the purse! Don't get me wrong; having nice things is nice, but like some people *cough, cough* you don't have to continually remind people what you eat and what kind of clothes your kids wear.

  14. I hear ya πŸ™‚ I get irritated with people who need to constantly point out to me that their food is organic or natural or whatever. I don't care what you eat. I really don't. Do you want a sticker or something?

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