Did You Hear That My Husband Left Us?

Greetings and salutations from Arizona on this fine Sunday morning!

J left on a business trip at the butt crack of dawn this morning, and he won’t return until late Thursday night. I am frustrated with his job. J is an electrical engineer, and since he got his master’s degree in early 2007 he has worked for a company in Oro Valley, AZ that designs batteries, emergency lighting systems, and other electrical thingys for commercial airplanes. It is a good job with great benefits, but the head of the company manages things as well as MckMama* handles her finances Yeah, you get the idea. For the better part of a year J has worked 55-60 hours a week plus a half day on Saturdays. This is his second working trip (going personally to a client and helping test the battery he designed) in two months. While I am grateful for his income (which allows me to stay home if we manage our money carefully) and benefits, I miss my husband like crazy. When he gets home in the evenings it’s helter skelter trying to get G fed, homeworked, snacked, bathed, and tucked in bed. P has his own schedule and doesn’t go down for the night until 10:00 pm or so. We’re both tired. We try and spend time together watching TV and talking, and he often dozes off. Our sex life is suffering. After having just re-read this paragraph for typos I realize that I really shouldn’t complain. Military wives do this all the time. Single mothers do this all the time. I feel guilty for complaining, but I refuse to lie about what I think or feel. So there you go:  conflicted loneliness.

I am touched that so many of you guys followed Operation KABOOM! yesterday. Every now and again I get the idea to conduct an experiment of sorts as I am a lover of science. I once fed half my houseplants with water and half with Diet Coke to see how they would be affected! Operation KABOOM! was designed after researching the calories, amounts of protein required, caffeine contents of pills, and the amount of water that I needed to drink per the company’s instructions. (Notice that I’m not naming which company is selling these supplements, nor did I refer to the pills yesterday by their given names. But if you follow MWOP then you obviously know. And if you don’t follow MWOP then you obviously should!) Holy fuck, Batman! Yesterday was just awful. The more caffeine I consumed the sweatier and tachycardic I became, and the longer I went without carbohydrates I became increasingly irritable, tired, and weak. This is definitely not the way to treat your body. And the laxatives. Those fucking laxatives. I never have to take laxatives, and I make a conscious effort to eat a high fiber diet. Combine the two things PLUS all the caffeine, which is a stimulant in it’s own right, and you are saddled with intense bloating, cramps, gas, and, in the middle of the night, you get up and rectally excrete a Smart Car. Having been obese most of my life I understand the desire to lose weight, but a starvation diet chocked full of caffeine, guarana, laxatives, magic sprinkles, and DMAA is NOT the way to go.

At the grocery store yesterday I bought P a Fisher-Price classic toy phone. He loves it, and it kind of makes me sad that in his lifetime he will never use a rotary phone or have a land line. Wow. But what made me take a picture of the box is the white rectangle in the lower left corner. I know it’s blurry, but it says, “Contents:  1 toy.”  Um, yeah. I kind of figured that since there was a picture of a giant phone on the box, but I guess it’s reassuring to know that the box doesn’t contain a black mamba or cans of chewing tobacco.

It hit me this morning while playing with P and his rotary phone that I have gotten old. I know in the grand scheme of life that 33 is not old at all. Well, unless you lived 300 years ago. When I think about all the things that have changed since the 1980’s when I was a child and how my attitudes about certain things have changed I feel like an old fart. There are things my children and grandchildren will never get to experience/own/use/play with:

floppy disks
giant floor console TVs
a cable box with a rotary dial necessitating manual channel changes
card catalogs at the library
Space Shuttle flights
gas under $1.00 a gallon
pay telephones
writing checks
Pogo Balls
roller skates with 4 wheels
cassette tapes
record players
cars without air bags (ok, so I’m glad they won’t experience those)
a camera with a flash bar
TV Guide
Sears Catalogs (especially the Christmas ones!)
Just a few channels:  ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS, and FOX (I remember when FOX was created!)
Saturday morning cartoons
cereal boxes containing prizes and toys
the whole New Coke/Coke Classic debate
knowing the profound meaning of “Nanoo-nanoo!” and “What’chu talkin’ ’bout Willis?”
taking someone to the airport and waiting with them at their gate until they had to board the plane
answering machines
paying for something C.O.D
MTV when there was more M and less TV
knowing mi abuela y abuelo (my Cuban grandparents)
knowing my Paw-Paw (my mom’s dad)
knowing my favorite aunt, Margaret  (aka “Aunt Nip”)
writing letters to people and sending them via snail mail
riding in a Yugo
watching filmstrips in class
Trapper Keepers

I guess that’s all for now. Later peeps!

* If you don’t know who MckMama is read this:  http://www.sequenceinc.com/fraudfiles/2012/04/mckmama-fraud-jennifer-mckinney-bankruptcy/


4 thoughts on “Did You Hear That My Husband Left Us?

  1. Business trips suck. In our case it's me who normally spends 5-8 days a month in Hungary on a business trip. It sucks. I thought the same thing about library cards till I went to the special collection section of the uni library, looking for a text to use for my master's thesis. They still have a card index and don't even plan to digitalize it. My BIL has a Yugo! I love that thing. 🙂

  2. Believe it or not, the plants fed Diet Coke grew comparably to those that were fed water. The height wree roughly the same, and the leaves didn't turn brown, wither, or have any changes.

  3. I remember my little brother and I riding in a Yugo once as kids, and he leaned over and said, "Sissy, if we get in an accident we're not going to have room to die in this car!" LOL

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