Totally Random Friday

It’s Friday, and that can mean only one thing:  complete randomness in lieu of a formal post because that’s how I do shit ’round these parts.

  • I have had this blog for 15 days now, and I have over 10,000 page views and 25 Snortees. Wow! Thanks so much for reading here! I’m thinking about putting up ads so I can stop paying bills. No, not really. According to Blogger people are reading The [SNORT] Files from the US, Canada, the UK, Russia, Argentina, Germany, Finland, Hungary, Japan, India, Australia, New Zealand, and Spain. I’m floored. Who knew [SNORT] had global appeal? I kid, I kid. Seriously, guys, thank you for reading. And if you’re inclined to do so, pop in and leave me a comment telling me where you’re from and something about yourself; you can remain anonymous, and I have no way of knowing your e-mail or IP address.

  • I love J so very much, but that man can make a fucking mess around the house. I get up in the morning and find dirty laundry all over the floor, breakfast dishes everywhere, hairs all over the bathroom counter and sink from where he trimmed his goatee, and (my least favorite) a knife covered in peanut butter just laying on the counter (he makes G’s lunch). We have had this “I’m not your maid” conversation many times, but it doesn’t seem to sink in. I’m a SAHM so I clean the house:  bathrooms, laundry, kitchen, and I cook. All I ask it that he clean up after himself. I’m getting to the point where I’m going to pretend he is a puppy, and when he does something I don’t like I’m going to get my spray bottle of water, spray him, and yell, “No! Bad husband!” If he starts peeing on the table legs I’m filing for divorce.

  • I let G watch TV, but he only watches stuff on Nick and Nick Jr. He is also watching the commercials apparently because last night he told me that Hydroxycut would help me lose weight and feel great. He then tried to direct me to to buy him a dream light.

  • Speaking of TV, I have started recording “Mork and Mindy” on the DVR every night. I usually play an episode in the mornings while I feed P, and the other day he burst out giggling when Mork went “Shazbot!” It was so random, and P is only 9 months old; he has never interacted with the TV before (not that I let him watch a whole lot). I hit rewind, replayed it, and he laughed hysterically when Mork said, “Shazbot!” We did this repeatedly for 4 or 5 minutes. It made me laugh too.

  • Somebody on MWOP was talking about Svan high chairs this morning. I went to their website to have a look, and they are rather ugly, imo. They are wooden, very modern looking, and are almost $300. They also sell a kids ride-on toy starting at $79 and going up to $119 depending on what kind of wood you choose.

      Really? No handles? No face? No color? The kid just rides a curvy piece of wood? Damn.

  • Today marks the finish line in regards to me getting all of my requirements for weight loss surgery taken care of. I’ve had the psych eval (and passed….imagine that!), met with the dietitian, had my labs drawn, and today I go see my regular doctor to get a medical letter of necessity and have her fill out some paperwork. Once everything is at the surgeon’s office next week it will be submitted to the insurance company for final approval. Once approved I can then schedule my surgery; the office said with the average insurance company turn around time we’re looking at surgery in late June or early July. I am excited and scared at the same time. I have been honest with you about my weight and struggles with weight loss, and now I’ll put it out there for all to see:  This is a huge lifestyle change, and I am nervous. J has already bought me some skinny clothes (a size 14), and I look at those and get excited because I haven’t been a size 14 since Bill Clinton was in office getting blow jobs from his interns.

  • Today is G’s last day of kindergarten. I am so proud of my little man! Here is a photo of him on his first day of school:

     He loves school so much, and I’m so excited to see what his future holds. He is so bright.

  • Sometimes I feel like a bad mother. It’s the truth. I have friends who enroll their kids in soccer, baseball, karate, and swimming AND do the fake elf stuff at Christmas AND bake cookies all the time AND keep a clean house AND do a ton of arts and crafts projects AND spend every waking moment playing with their kid. I feel like I’m missing a gene or something. I love my kids, but when they are occupied playing independently (even P can occupy himself) I leave them alone. I do play with them, don’t get me wrong, but I think it’s important that they learn to occupy themselves and use their imagination. I don’t do the fake elf shit because I’m just not into it. G doesn’t want to do sports but is excited that we are joining the Y. I don’t let my kids drink juice, and I limit their junk food. My house is messy. I guess what I’m getting at is supermoms made me second guess my parenting.

  • If I were to be put to death my last meal would be steamed crab legs, sliced home-grown tomatoes, french fries, and fried chicken from Big Chic back home. I’d have Krispy Kreme donuts for dessert.

  • I feel like my online “friends” are real friends. I’ve gotten to know so many wonderful and varied people, and when I turn on the computer every morning I’m wondering how they are. I’m wondering about my pregnant friends, the girl who is doing such an awesome job dieting and is fixing up her new house to get it move-in ready, the nice woman who is torn up about a foster child, the awesome guy and his fiancee and kids in Israel, the mom who is a medical transcriptionist with odd hours, the lady who had an acquaintance steal her pain medication, my friends with brand new babies or sick babies, etc. It’s funny that you can feel such a sense of kinship and acceptance with people whose real name or location you don’t even know. And the snark! These people keep me in stitches with their jibes, witty banter, and just straight up humor. I’m amazed that it was a twatwaffle like Jennifer McKinney that brought us all together! *waving*  Thanks, Jen!

  • There is one sound that people generally hate, like fingernails on a chalkboard. For me it is the way J sneezes. Weird, I know.

  • I cannot for the life of me figure out the appeal of Pinterest and Twitter.

  • Every single Thursday I buy 4 gossip magazines:  US Weekly, National Enquirer, In Touch, and Star. I’ve done this for over 10 years. It’s like crack to me.

  • When I wear my pink strapless dress and drive a car I look naked.

That’s enough randomness for one day. [SNORT] out!


61 thoughts on “Totally Random Friday

  1. I fucking HATE going the dishes and there are 3 peanut butter covered knives in the sink; PB gets on other dishes and all over the sponge. I'm glad I'm not the only wife that has a husband that does that! I have been to NC a few times, and the only times I have ever been in NY was during my trips to and from Vermont. On the way up we went thru the Bronx on I-95, and on the way out of VT we went through upstate NY and went to Nigara Falls. It's a lovely state, and I sure hope your move to NC is going better this time!

  2. Well, I'm happy I made you laugh 😀 I amso happy that your husband and daughter are doing so well after the WLS. My first thought was to get a lap band, but I weigh 280 and have too much excess weight to lose. My insurance company doesn't cover the sleeve, so after talking it over with the surgeon I'm just going to do the gastric bypass. Has your daughter had any complications? Is she finding it easy to eat enough protein and drink enough fluids?

  3. Dorothy, Toto, The Tin Man and I all read from Kansas. 🙂 A real farm as opposed to a faux-farm. And the whole Oz bunch snorts every time I bring up your blog. Thanks for sharing your humor! And put ads up on your space. Bring yourself in some cold cash so you can buy yourself some clothes and quit driving naked! LOL

  4. LOL at making some cash so I can buy clothes and quit driving naked!! That would be nice because when I jam on the brakes and spill my nonfat double latte it burns my ta-ta's and my lady business! You live on a real farm? How cool is that! Is it a large, commercial farm with animals or crops, or just a small family farm? Do your goats wear tu-tus and diapers? Do you harvest your own roosters?

  5. Yes, mwop is fabulous <3…all of you ladies make for some wonderful reading, and it's lovely to see how supportive and respectful you are of each other's opinions.As for Finland…in many ways, it's not so different from Canada or the US, but the things that ARE different really take some getting used to (mainly the way people behave in public…here, people tend to be more reserved, and it can come across as being unfriendly even though that's not the case at all. It's just another way of 'being'. Other than the lack of customer service. That part is crap :P). I think that if my family wasn't originally from Scandinavia, it would've been much harder to adjust to life in Finland. I've lived here for almost 11 years, now, so I'm pretty much at the point that I don't notice the differences any more.The weather, seasons, and daylight (or lack thereof) is the biggie, though. Being from Canada, I'm used to having the 4 seasons, including harsh winters…but the lack of light in winter is a killer. Where we're at, the sun pops over the horizon for about 4-5 hours at it's darkest. The flipside, though, is that the summers are incredible. The sun barely sets, and I can be out gardening in bright sunshine until way past 10-11pm, if I wasn't keeping an eye on the clock! It doesn't get too hot, though, with temps very rarely going above 30C (around 86F), and it doesn't get as humid as Ontario does.Sorry for writing a book, here ! LOL! It's hard to describe life in Finland in 10 words or less 😉 Thanks for taking an interest, though!

  6. A large farm with real crops, but sadly no goats or tutus (maybe if I zinged my body and dropped 20 pounds I'd wear the tutu? LOL). We do have a bunny, but the bunny doesn't wear designer clothes. We have cats, but they don't look good in mini Boden either. No chickens, I like eggs xrayed by Walmart before I buy them! I'm a city girl transplanted to a farm at about the same exact time she moved to a farm. I stayed, she didn't last. LOL

  7. I am from Alabama. A little place called Westover. I had gastric bypass in January 2010. The day after my 35th bday. I have lost 125 pounds. I wish you sucess in your sugery and I love reading your blog. I recently started reading MWOP. I was one of the clueless people who beleived everything Mckmamma posted. I feel so duped. Thank you for the laughs.

  8. Hubby did just fine, no issues with getting his protein or fluid. Had mood swings alot at first but doc explained men carry their hormones in their belly fat and he was losing like crazy so it was as if he was going thru PMS. Daughter is having a harder time with getting her protein and her fluid. Her sleeve is being finicky. Her taste buds have changed right now and foods she loved she can't tolerate and her "sweet tooth" has gone wacky where anything remotely sweet, as simple as crystal light, makes her have nausea. But today she is down 40 pounds and told me she put a ring on that she has not been able to wear in many years. I bought my hubby a recliner today and he looked at it and said I can't get into that, you need to get the bigger one. I told him to sit and he fit just fine. A big smile on his face.It's the little things I see that make all we've been thru worth it.It's been hard for me when it comes to eating as I'm not used to only cooking for one. the first month I felt guilty eating in front of him and he kept telling me he was not hungry and not to worry about what i ate. I talked to the nurses at his doctors office and they told me that was my problem. Hubby used to do all the cooking and still offers to cook for me but i've found he must have been a taste test chef as his cooking isn't so good since he does not taste to spice. I'm so glad they both decided to do this surgery and if you or your family have any questions i'll be glad to answer them.

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