It’s Friday, and that can mean only one thing: complete randomness in lieu of a formal post because that’s how I do shit ’round these parts.
- I have had this blog for 15 days now, and I have over 10,000 page views and 25 Snortees. Wow! Thanks so much for reading here! I’m thinking about putting up ads so I can stop paying bills. No, not really. According to Blogger people are reading The [SNORT] Files from the US, Canada, the UK, Russia, Argentina, Germany, Finland, Hungary, Japan, India, Australia, New Zealand, and Spain. I’m floored. Who knew [SNORT] had global appeal? I kid, I kid. Seriously, guys, thank you for reading. And if you’re inclined to do so, pop in and leave me a comment telling me where you’re from and something about yourself; you can remain anonymous, and I have no way of knowing your e-mail or IP address.
- I love J so very much, but that man can make a fucking mess around the house. I get up in the morning and find dirty laundry all over the floor, breakfast dishes everywhere, hairs all over the bathroom counter and sink from where he trimmed his goatee, and (my least favorite) a knife covered in peanut butter just laying on the counter (he makes G’s lunch). We have had this “I’m not your maid” conversation many times, but it doesn’t seem to sink in. I’m a SAHM so I clean the house: bathrooms, laundry, kitchen, and I cook. All I ask it that he clean up after himself. I’m getting to the point where I’m going to pretend he is a puppy, and when he does something I don’t like I’m going to get my spray bottle of water, spray him, and yell, “No! Bad husband!” If he starts peeing on the table legs I’m filing for divorce.
- I let G watch TV, but he only watches stuff on Nick and Nick Jr. He is also watching the commercials apparently because last night he told me that Hydroxycut would help me lose weight and feel great. He then tried to direct me to www.dreamlites.com to buy him a dream light.
- Speaking of TV, I have started recording “Mork and Mindy” on the DVR every night. I usually play an episode in the mornings while I feed P, and the other day he burst out giggling when Mork went “Shazbot!” It was so random, and P is only 9 months old; he has never interacted with the TV before (not that I let him watch a whole lot). I hit rewind, replayed it, and he laughed hysterically when Mork said, “Shazbot!” We did this repeatedly for 4 or 5 minutes. It made me laugh too.
- Somebody on MWOP was talking about Svan high chairs this morning. I went to their website to have a look, and they are rather ugly, imo. They are wooden, very modern looking, and are almost $300. They also sell a kids ride-on toy starting at $79 and going up to $119 depending on what kind of wood you choose.
Really? No handles? No face? No color? The kid just rides a curvy piece of wood? Damn.
- Today marks the finish line in regards to me getting all of my requirements for weight loss surgery taken care of. I’ve had the psych eval (and passed….imagine that!), met with the dietitian, had my labs drawn, and today I go see my regular doctor to get a medical letter of necessity and have her fill out some paperwork. Once everything is at the surgeon’s office next week it will be submitted to the insurance company for final approval. Once approved I can then schedule my surgery; the office said with the average insurance company turn around time we’re looking at surgery in late June or early July. I am excited and scared at the same time. I have been honest with you about my weight and struggles with weight loss, and now I’ll put it out there for all to see: This is a huge lifestyle change, and I am nervous. J has already bought me some skinny clothes (a size 14), and I look at those and get excited because I haven’t been a size 14 since Bill Clinton was in office getting blow jobs from his interns.
- Today is G’s last day of kindergarten. I am so proud of my little man! Here is a photo of him on his first day of school:
He loves school so much, and I’m so excited to see what his future holds. He is so bright.
- Sometimes I feel like a bad mother. It’s the truth. I have friends who enroll their kids in soccer, baseball, karate, and swimming AND do the fake elf stuff at Christmas AND bake cookies all the time AND keep a clean house AND do a ton of arts and crafts projects AND spend every waking moment playing with their kid. I feel like I’m missing a gene or something. I love my kids, but when they are occupied playing independently (even P can occupy himself) I leave them alone. I do play with them, don’t get me wrong, but I think it’s important that they learn to occupy themselves and use their imagination. I don’t do the fake elf shit because I’m just not into it. G doesn’t want to do sports but is excited that we are joining the Y. I don’t let my kids drink juice, and I limit their junk food. My house is messy. I guess what I’m getting at is supermoms made me second guess my parenting.
- If I were to be put to death my last meal would be steamed crab legs, sliced home-grown tomatoes, french fries, and fried chicken from Big Chic back home. I’d have Krispy Kreme donuts for dessert.
- I feel like my online “friends” are real friends. I’ve gotten to know so many wonderful and varied people, and when I turn on the computer every morning I’m wondering how they are. I’m wondering about my pregnant friends, the girl who is doing such an awesome job dieting and is fixing up her new house to get it move-in ready, the nice woman who is torn up about a foster child, the awesome guy and his fiancee and kids in Israel, the mom who is a medical transcriptionist with odd hours, the lady who had an acquaintance steal her pain medication, my friends with brand new babies or sick babies, etc. It’s funny that you can feel such a sense of kinship and acceptance with people whose real name or location you don’t even know. And the snark! These people keep me in stitches with their jibes, witty banter, and just straight up humor. I’m amazed that it was a twatwaffle like Jennifer McKinney that brought us all together! *waving* Thanks, Jen!
- There is one sound that people generally hate, like fingernails on a chalkboard. For me it is the way J sneezes. Weird, I know.
- I cannot for the life of me figure out the appeal of Pinterest and Twitter.
- Every single Thursday I buy 4 gossip magazines: US Weekly, National Enquirer, In Touch, and Star. I’ve done this for over 10 years. It’s like crack to me.
- When I wear my pink strapless dress and drive a car I look naked.
That’s enough randomness for one day. [SNORT] out!