A Difficult Season For Sure

I am a single mother again this week. Sad. Hopeful. Lonely. Exuberant. Mad. But strong. J decided over the weekend to abandon me, Footlong, and 6-inch. He left yesterday, suitcase in hand. On a fixed wing aircraft. Direct flight to Atlanta. A brief layover was his and then a connecting flight to Savannah. I’m praying him home. I anticipate late Friday night for the working of my prayers. Say around 10 pm or so.

My surely sweet souled mini-adults have buoyed their mama tremendously with her sadness. Did you know there is a place where children can eat pizza and playing games is theirs? Rides too? A place like that is such; it’s called Chuck-E-Cheese. You can visit chuckecheese DOT com for special deals on tokens. Licked a piece of pizza with a look of wonderment on his face 6-inch did. It was beautiful. He looked amazed. “Mama,” his face thoughts conveyed to me, “this tastes so much better than synthetic milk you but in my baby-friendly drinking receptacle!” Wolf down three slices of pepperoni pizza Footlong did with a burp to boot!

Today will be spent having quality time on the internet since I paid attention to the kids yesterday. Footlong has a list of chores, and 6-inch was told that he must change his own diapers. I need some me, me, me time on my computer and phone. They missed me yesterday. They missed me. I don’t know if J did but I’m sure he did but I’m not positive so I’ll say he might have missed me.

Where is Footlong with my vegan non-dairy macrobiotic breakfast? FOOTLONG! FOOOOOOTLONG! MY BREAKFAST WHERE IS IT? 

Oh fuck it. I’ll just have a donut.

This is a gramatically incorrect work of fiction. Duh.


38 thoughts on “A Difficult Season For Sure

  1. I wrote it! I just tried to forget everything I learned in college English classes and make the post full of split verb phrases, dangling participles, jumbled sentences, and sentence fragments.

  2. Better watch yourself, else you be sued! I swear it sucks that I can't post over on MWOP because apparently if one person at work gets banned, everyone at work gets banned. Sad day for me. LOL! I can't wait for your parody of her posts these last few days. I wonder if this writing style would get me that A I'm trying to get in this graduate course I'm struggling in. AAAAHHHHH!!! I hate professors who make no sense.

  3. Ahhhh…I've been away for a few days and (had to God) the FIRST thing I did upon returning to the internets was to check your blog for some much needed laughter. OMG…vejazzeling AND backdoor bleaching. Who the heck thinks of these things?!?!SWSNBN has gone off the frickin deep end. Seriously crazy.

  4. Hi Snort, I sure love your posts.Can you believe the latest crap by JM? I am on the list wow, I must be so special. Do you really believe the sheeple buy into her crap? Well, back over to mwop Mckprisonbound

  5. After college I am not a fan of alot alot of professors. If you would like, Patti, for a bunch of cash I would be happy to write your papers in this style of writing. 😉

  6. I have been wondering where you were cause I always see your avatar and know instantly who you are! I wonder that as well: who in the heck thinks of these things?

  7. You know, my friend, it is nothing more than deflection. She is in serious trouble with the court and could very well be facing criminal charges in the future. Her husband left her. She has to take attention away from herself, or all of this is for a shit ton of blog clicks to make some money while she can. Who knows? Who cares? I just want justice served. No more, no less.

  8. Your kiddos and you are wonderful and it was a blast hanging out today! You are a wonderful balm to my soul. And btw, who's laughing now, JM? You created a friendship for 2 little kids today so I think we win! 😛

  9. I had so much fun too! When we got in the car G said, "Mama, I really liked xxxxxx. Can we play again sometime?" And you were a wonderful balm for my soul as well!

  10. Hi Snort!!! I have noticed you have some naysayers who want to bring you down. I have been researching their IP addresses, Facebook accounts and Blogs. I have compiled a list of their names so you can submit it to your twitter attorney to issue a cease and desist. Brittany SpearsSnow WhiteHR PuffinstuffHobo KellyJane DoeJohn Doewhew, my fingers are tired of typing but I guarantee there are at least 100 more that I could list.

  11. I am praying your hubby home as well. I figure we can't have you a single mom too long. You have a blog to write. As your admin, I am requesting a few umm gifts well necessities to fulfill my obligations. First off, I would like a bat phone. One that is a direct line to your snort home that has an alarm system on it for the next round of crazy that could happen at anytime. When the alarm is sounded you will know to jump down the snort pole and into your snort tights and gather your phone to assist a MWOPer in need. Next, I am going to need some gift cards from a few food establishments around my area. With my full time job working graveyard typing and now being responsible for the admin duties, I have no time to cook. The children and hubby can fend for themselves, but I will need a variety of foods to sustain me. I believe for now that will take care of things, but as Crazy girl gets more crazy by the day, this list may need to be amended. I can have my lawyer contact yours if necessary. Keep up the good work. Give those babies a high five now and then so they know you care!

  12. Oh Snort…Tonight while having a few of my lady bits tidied up by my lovely esthetician gal I asked about whether she does "interior" clean ups. She stopped midstream on my leg wax and with a serious "WTF are you talking about" look said no there are some things that should never be cleaned by others. We had a good laugh about it but I'm sure she probably now just thinks I'm a complete weirdo. I will pray for you and the safe return of your darling husband but if he doesn't return I invite you to my country where we will welcome you and your little subs with open arms. We also have the restaurant Chuck-E-Cheese that you speak of tonight but for some strange reason it is "ALWAYS" being renovate when my little prisoners request to visit there. I will also ensure I have stocked lovely doughnuts from Tim Hortons.Thanks for the laugh !

  13. Ah, Mom, I had tons of playtime and snuggles with my kids yesterday, and a playdate with a fellow MWOPer! Life is good. As for the phone, I vote for a red "World War III" phone like the President has. I just pick it up (or vice versa), and it directly rings the other so we can be in contact immediately if there is a nuclear war or drama at HQ. For being my admin, I will send you $75/wk along with a bunch of expired coupons. Take it or leave it.

  14. Bahahahahahahahah! You actually asked your esthetician about interior cleanups? OMG, Michelle, I wish I could see the look on her face!!! As for your invitation to your country, you had me at Tim Hortons. YUM!!!!!!

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