For M, on chemo Friday ♥
So much for a vacation, right? Thank you all for telling me how much you still want me to blog. Either you’re really, really bored or you like it here. I figure its a tossup.
Today’s “Are You Fucking Kidding Me?!?” post is inspired by toys. Yes, toys. At heart I’m just an awkward juvenile with braces and scabbed knees.
I was looking online to get some ideas of what to get 6-inch for his first birthday next month. I came across this:
Are you fucking kidding me? An automated rickshaw? Wow. Nothing says love like buying your kid a toy that will pull their lazy asses around the house because walking is sooooooooooo last season.On the plus side it would free up alot of time for me to not have teach 6-inch how to walk. I also guess it is better than spending $1000 on a stroller or allowing my kids to play horsey with the family pet (Bob the betta fish). Added bonus? I don’t have to take Footlong to school anymore nor do I have to pick him up. I also don’t have to tip the rickshaw dude.
I have also decided not to waste time teaching 6-inch about potty training. I’m going to implement an independent study program for him utilizing these:
Are you fucking kidding me? A plush urine droplet and cuddly (literal) piece of shit? Fucking hell. I was turned off by the names and tried to find potty toys named Urinate & Defecate, but I guess they were sold out.
My Maw-Maw and Paw-Paw gave me a play kitchen for my third birthday. I loved that kitchen. I remember having some play foods, like plastic fruits and generic cardboard boxes that said “noodles” or “crackers.” And play food today?
Are you fucking kidding me? Toy sushi? Look at this thing! Chopsticks, wasabi, ginger, a soy sauce bowl, and all kinds of little sushi rolls (yuck). Seriously? What is next? The kids Benihana grilling playset with grill, knives, spatula, squirt bottles of oil and “Japanese Coca-Cola,” and toy shrimp, rice, eggs, veggies, steak, and scallops? The kids toy food truck with Korean tacos and venison sliders?
I had a friend in kindergarten that loved to play house. She had a pretend vacuum and a plastic broom. Today?
You can buy the Kiddy Cleaning Trolley! Are you fucking kidding me? What? They don’t have toy motel rooms you can buy to go with it? Personally this toy kind of creeps me out. I’m not sure why. But hey…..it’s only $34.99.
And lastly, here is a gem that was (at one time) sold in the toy department of Tesco, the largest chain-store in Britain: