Are You Fucking Kidding Me: The Sequel

Some random thoughts/happenings/experiences that left me saying (usually aloud), “Are you fucking kidding me?”

So, Octomom is just shit out of luck financially. Her bankruptcy was thrown out of court because the paperwork wasn’t complete. In addition to celebrity boxing, a celebrity phone line (where people actually pay to talk to her), and a recent topless photo shoot Octomom is turning to the sex industry to make a quick buck. Are you fucking kidding me? She has completed filming a solo masturbation video that is due for release later this summer, and now she has signed a contract to strip at T’s Strip Club in West Palm Beach, FL. She’ll be performing two shows a night from July 11-15. Ewwwww. The woman has already transformed herself with a shit ton of plastic surgery to look like Angelina Jolie. What now? If she morphs into Jenna Jameson we need to vote her off the continent.

J came home from his business trip late Friday night and promptly reverted to his old ways of leaving shit all over the house and not picking up after himself. Are you fucking kidding me? Obviously my spray bottle of water and shouting, “No! Bad husband!” wasn’t enough of a deterrence. I’m now looking into electric collars.

Facebook suggested again today that I become friends with my ex-husband. Are you fucking kidding me? I’ll just leave it at that.

My little brother celebrated his 31st birthday yesterday. Are you fucking kidding me? When did we get so old? I swear it seems like just a few years ago we were hopping on our Pogo Balls, collecting Garbage Pail Kids, swooning over Nintendo, and watching real cartoons on Saturday mornings. How is it possible that this skinny, curly haired boy who could run so fast now a grown man with a good job, married, and a father?

Mommy blogger Jennifer McKinney threatened MWOP and the site’s admin with legal action the other day. Are you fucking kidding me? You can’t sue people for not liking you. You also can’t sue people for telling the truth when you don’t want people to know the truth. You also can’t sue folks for having an opinion. Boo fucking hoo.

A friend of mine with a yeast infection went to get some cream the other day. Her choices were the 7-day cream for $7.99 or the 1-day cream for $13.99. She chose the cheaper one. She also buys her condoms at the 99cent Only stores. Are you fucking kidding me? These areas are where you choose to cut corners?

Why are there parents who think it’s totally fine to take their baby to Wal-Mart at midnight wearing nothing but a dirty, saggy diaper, snot dripping from their nose, sucking on a bottle filled with Hawaiian Punch and clutching a half-eaten bag of Cheetos? Are you fucking kidding me? Really?

I was at Costco last week and decided to look at the clothes. There was a vendor in the store with tons of dresses and sweaters on display. I was just browsing and looking when the vendor came over and said, “I’m sorry, miss, but we don’t carry plus sizes if you’re looking for them.” ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Just because I’m fat I’m not allowed to look at clothes that don’t come in my rather ample size? What if I had been shopping for a gift? What if I had wanted to buy a dress for after my surgery? I was madder than a cobra, and I channeled Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” and told the person, “I was shopping for gifts for my mother, best friend, and twin sisters (which I don’t have). I’ll go elsewhere.” Asshole.

I guess that’s enough bitching for one day.

Snort out!

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28 thoughts on “Are You Fucking Kidding Me: The Sequel

  1. I so agree on rude vendors! I went to Hawaii with my husband a few years ago, and this "lady" greeted us at the door of her dress shop with I'm sorry we don't carry Jumbo size… OMG I am so not a Jumbo and If I was a Jumbo I would kick her Jiminy Cricket a**.. UGH. Mean people suck! danaj

  2. My "Are you Fucking Kidding Me" moment today was: This guy I work with, he's lazy, lazy, lazy. He works here just to get the money. So he's doing some testing (we audit stuff) for me, and needless to say one of my queries wasn't right for this particular policy. We figured that out, and 25 mins later he's like "See. It was wrong." Like, yeah, and what the fuck does that have to do with anything?So yeah, that was my WTF moment. I swear.

  3. I would so ask her what size Jumbo size is. LOL! I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh, but sometimes the things people say out loud. Next time you say, at least I can fix Jumbo size but unfortunately you can't fix stupid.

  4. Well you CAN sue people not liking you for all of that…but they probably won't win and the result would be making yourself look like a complete moron. I'm pretty sure someone like that already has plenty of proof to that fact, though. πŸ˜› Yeah…FB always seems to suggest people I specifically do NOT want to be friends with. Drives me nuts. My XH and his family is blocked though so it stop suggesting him. lol. And I despise Octomom…her and JM have a lot in common though, personality-wise. πŸ˜›

  5. OMG Yes, yes, yes to the Walmart and kids. I try to run over after the kids are in bed so it's usually after 9 at least when I get there and it never fails there is always some poor kid there with their parents. To make it better they are usually screaming and the parents just don't seem to understand why the kid is upset. Interesting friends you have… definitely would not cheap out on condoms. I just had a WTF moment last week…I went to The Bay to restock my Clinique products and the little troll working at the counter said I would probably be better going to the Estee Lauder products because they were better for older ladies like myself. I'm in my early 40's so I guess that's old.

  6. WTF on the clothing vendor?! She needs a throat punch, that is ridiculous. I feel sad for the Walmart babies like that. I took my (clean baby to the grocery store in a (clean) onesie the other day, she still rides in the carrier, and I honestly felt like she was naked because she didn't have pants or shoes. It's been in the upper 80s here though so I need to get used to dressing her lightly but it just makes me feel weird. I saw a little boy in the grocery store once; about 2, he had no shoes and his feet were black up to the ankles, no shirt, and a grubby, sagging pair of shorts. Heartbreaking. I strongly dislike Octomom. She makes me feel like I need a shower if I think of her. Blech! I feel old when I think that my bro is 33. I remember when we each scrimped and saved $50 so we could go to the grocery store and buy the original Nintendo. Seriously! It sold for $100 AND in the grocery none the less. We were so proud of ourselves. I can't believe now we are in our thirties. Love the blog, as always. It's destined for infamy ( in a good way.) ~WUWD

  7. Honest to god, JHSM has been through so many different seasons, a strip gig or a porno film wouldn't shock me coming from her. I never thought I'd see her hawking diet pills, and now look.Octomom is plain nasty.

  8. This week there were three friend sugestions from FB: my psycho ex, the ex whose heart I broke and the ex who has had a sex change and no longer associates with gay bays as she is now a hetero girl.

  9. If that sales associate would have made that fatist comment to someone even within earshot of me, I would have been complaining to customer service so fast her empty little head would have been spinning. I'd also have written to corporate about it, but I'm a bitch and have been known to do stuff like that.For the record, my mom and I were very politely requested to vacate a plus-sized shop years ago (we're both single-digit sizes). We didn't know they only carried "larger" sizes and the clothes in the display window were cute. They didn't say "Sorry, we don't carry clothing for women with eating disorders" or something as offensive. Why, oh why, is it EVER okay to comment on a stranger's size?

  10. Octomom seems to have made alot of poor choices like Jennifer in regards to finances, like getting her $500 Brazilian Blowout while not paying bills and living in a run down, filthy house. I don't think Jennifer would stoop to stripping and porn. I can see her becoming a televangelist and begging for money on TV, but I don't see her stripping or doing porn.

  11. I make it a point to not comment on sizes (other than my own) if I can help it. I also don't like asking people if they are pregnant because I'm afraid of offending someone who isn't pregnant.

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