MckMath 101

I love to learn. I try to learn at least one new thing every single day, but for the past several months I have been trying to master something that I just can’t seem to wrap my brain around. It’s not calculus, astrophysics, medicine, economics, or why the male species relies on the penis to make so many decisions. It’s MckMath, y’all. I’m stuck trying to figure out this fucking MckMath.

Each branch of science and mathematics has it’s own founder or someone considered “The Father” of that area. MckMath derives it’s roots from the discombobulated blog postings of Jennifer Howe Sauls McKinney, aka “MckMama.” Try as I might I just cannot grasp this stuff. MckMath not only applies to basic numbers, weights, addition, subtraction, and general accounting; MckMath also applies to dates so I’m wondering if there is something amiss within the space-time continuum. I feel so inept even trying to explain it. I am posting some examples here, and I’m hoping one of you is like the janitor in “Good Will Hunting,” and can solve this crap. Got a pencil, some scratch paper, and calculator? Show your work if you can.

MckMath As It Applies To The Calendar And Space Time Continuum

  • In her bankruptcy creditors (341) meeting Jennifer, when questioned about getting paid by affiliates, stated that she received $150 from a coffee ministry that she plugged on her blog but that was after she filed bankruptcy so she didn’t know why she brought it up. Jennifer filed bankruptcy on December 13; she plugged Pangeo coffee (and a special MckDiscount for her readers) on November 29. How, exactly, does November come after December?

  • When questioned by the US Trustee regarding her deals page, Jennifer stated that she started it “around Christmas time.” He rebutted wanting to know if she waited to start it after she filed bankruptcy; she said, “Oh, I never thought of doing it. A friend suggested it.”  She and her “Deals Girls” started the MckDeals page in March….9 months before she filed bankruptcy. I cannot for the life of me figure out how March is right before Christmas. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
  • I’m still baffled how her April 5-10 non-RV RV trip spanned from March 28-April 13. I may need Doc Brown to help me with this one.

How MckMath Applies To General Math And Accounting

  • Jennifer listed her income on her bankruptcy schedules as $55,000 when in fact it was over $148,000, but it is still listed on her amended bankruptcy schedules as $55,000. How it that possible? Is the Mckdollar valued differently than the US dollar? Apparently so. The best I can figure $1 Mckdollar equals $2.69 US dollars. I’m still not quite sure though.

  • In her original and amended bankruptcy schedules it is noted that Jennifer owns 3 camera lenses (total value $2000). She tells the trustee she owns “2 total lenses.”  I know that in MckMath numbers are relative and all, but I am stuck on this one too.

  • Jennifer has stated repeatedly on her blogs that there is no outstanding tax liens with the government; she and Israel paid their back taxes. They are paid off. Well, the bankruptcy schedules show added together a tax debt of  $115,069.18. How does this equal a zero balance? I need a drink. I feel like Jessica Simpson trying to figure out if her Chicken of the Sea brand tuna is tuna or chicken.

  • In regards to the Ignite 8-day challenges you only have to ever do one of, Jennifer has chosen to do 4 (April 15, April 20 [5 days later?], May 4, June 5). 1=4 therefore 4=1?  

How MckMath Applies to Weight

So, Jennifer has lost either 61 or 67 lbs. If she started at 238 that would make her 177 or 171 pounds presently. I especially enjoy how MckMath applies to metabolism and core thermodynamics; I now know it is possible to lose as much as 20 pounds in 10 days (her 3 rapid weight losses in parenthesis) using the 1=4 8-day challenge and sprinkles that reduce 25% of her pseudo-Paleo caloric intake. Or something. Right?

This last part technically has something to do with MckMath. This was posted at MWOP yesterday, and it seems to have come from someone within MckMama’s sooper sekrit Xyng Facebook group:

Wanted to let you guys know that Jxxxxxxx Rxxxxxx Sxxx, Mxxxx Cxxxxxxxxxx and Lxxxxx Lxxxxxx earned the free airfare I gave away last month. They’re going to Vegas this summer! But that’s not all: I have a fun promotion going on right now. I’m giving away $100 in cold, hard cash to the one of the 38 Distributors who share our newest Xyng video with the most people by this Thursday. That’s it! Details on our Team MckMama FB page. And if you’re not a Distributor yet and are considering it, maybe this $100 that you could so easily earn might encourage you to upgrade. 🙂 Lemme know if you need help or have questions!

Let me get this straight:  this heiffer is roughly three quarters of a million dollars in debt and is being accused of fraud and perjury by her bankruptcy trustee and she bought round-trip airfares for THREE people to attend the Xyng Fling in Las Vegas next month? I’m assuming she has to buy her plane ticket as well as well as pony up money for her hotel stay. Wow. And she’s offering $100 in cold hard cash to someone else. For fucks sake. No wonder she can’t pay her fucking bills; she can’t hold on to her money to save her life. To the person trying to earn $100 Mckdollars beware:  you may not like the exchange rate.


17 thoughts on “MckMath 101

  1. I don't mean to be a MckStickler here, but your MckMath is off between 18th and 21st Jan – lost 3 pounds but your figure of (33) doesn't change between the two. 🙂 Does that make sense?You're welcome!ahem.

  2. Damn! You are MckSoopuhSmart! Thanks for pointing that out! Fucking hell. I'd have to go back and change the table in Word then repost it here, and I'm tired. Boo. At least the numbers got right again after that. What can I say? This post gave me such a headache that I had some bourbon. Other than that, how was it?

  3. Yeah I guess I should have sandwiched my criticism with many MckCompliments :)Seriously though, this is the sort of post I have been wanting to see – laying out her claims and how it MckMatches up with reality. Or not. The only thing we need is JM to claim that she still weighs 200 lbs, despite the losses claimed. HIGH FIVE! Non-snarky High Five, that is. You can pat yourself on the back and have an extra helping of shit on a spoon…

  4. Oh Snort, don't you know that one is not supposed to question the MckMath? One is supposed to accept it as divinely inspired by the infallible MckMama herself.

  5. Dear Snort, this is brilliant! So many lies; so much bad mckmath.One slight inaccuracy though—a heifer is a young cow that has not been bred. Given that JM has been bred repeatedly, we can just call her an outright cow—no need to imply she's young and frisky.One more date/dollar discrepancy is the purchase and sale of Happy Wheels, the Jayco JayFlight travel trailer the Mck family used for their travels last summer. They left on the trip in May and returned in mid to late July, yet claimed to have sold the trailer in May. She wanted to imply that the trailer was sold more than six months before the bankruptcy filing. The purchase and sale amount given to the Trustee also don't exactly jive with the CraigsList record and her statements in her blog.I love your blog! Notnancy

  6. Oh Snort, you have me all wrong. I steal my funny off MWOP-ers!LOVE your work though. That's why I'm commenting here even though I haven't come out of lurkdom on mwop.

  7. November comes after December in the Southern Hemisphere. I read it in my homeschool book. It said the world is flat and those people are upside down and backwards. Make sense now? Sorry you misunderstood.

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