In The Last Few Days I Have………

…made a total mess in the kitchen.

…bought 3 pair of shoes.

…bought Footlong a Star Wars lunch box and tricked it out by attaching a bunch of miniature Star-Wars figurines to it.

…eaten Japanese food.

…stayed at a hotel with my hubby.

…eaten at IHOP.

…shopped at AJ’s, a gourmet grocery store that actually has valet parking.

…been to Costco with Father Snort.

…washed my sheets and pillowcases.

…bought 6-inch a Lightning McQueen ride on toy for his upcoming 1st birthday.

…driven in a horrible thunderstorm.

…been to Target for diapers and formula.

…plucked stray eyebrows.

…immensely enjoyed my parents being here.

…learned that my first box of food made it to Nunavut!

…made hash browns topped with applewood smoked bacon, tomatoes, green onions, over medium eggs, and a jalapeno Hollandaise sauce.

…gotten teary eyed thinking about 6-inch, my last baby, growing up.

…read my weekly cache of gossip magazines.

…decided that just because you like teal and orange doesn’t necessarily mean that you should wear them together.

…realized I need to get back to blogging.

…heard a joke:  Where does a person with one leg work? IHOP.  Tasteless, I know.

…gotten my feet rubbed.

…decided some people are stupid.

…opted to not wear a bra. I substituted a bikini top.

…joked about wearing a bikini top as a bra. That never happened. I know the difference between underwear and swim wear.

…welcomed my nemesis, PMS, back into my life.

…watched “Contagion” on HBO. Any movie where Gwyneth Paltrow dies a violent death about 10 minutes in makes it, in my opinion, the feel good movie of the year.

…thought about organizing a Snort cruise.

…that was a joke as well. I am not world famous and better than everyone and believe that everyone should fork over a couple grand to spend time with me.

…read Tracey Coenen’s new MckMama fraud post at Fraud Files. I love this woman. Tracey…not MckMama. Sorry you misunderstood.

…decided that since 6-inch has texture issues with food I am not going to buy or make him a birthday cake. I am going to make him a bowl of birthday pudding and plop a candle in that.

…hugged and snuggled my kids a shit ton.

…surprised Footlong with a new backpack for school. Does anyone here know what Annoying Orange is?

…decided to tell you that Footlong’s name is Garrett and 6-inch’s name is Preston.

…listened to Footlong whine and complain about his academic day camp being over and school not starting until August. “I’m so bored, Mama! I want to go to school! Is there anywhere I can go right now?” I hope he continues to love school and learning as he gets older.

…realized that 6-inch looks like me.

…fried catfish.

…missed my MWOP gals immensely.

…meant to vacuum but haven’t.

…started watching “Miami Vice” on Netflix. I lived in FL during the time the series was shot and even had an autographed picture of Don Johnson.

…had a seriously fucked up dream where I was working as a nurse and hoping no one found out I didn’t have a nursing license. It was really weird and horrible.

…bored myself and my readers to tears talking about things I have done in the last few days.

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18 thoughts on “In The Last Few Days I Have………

  1. nope didnt bore me.. my life is so boring i find your life exhilerating!!! lol and by the by would pay a grand for all us MWOPers to go a cruise.. and have jenjen as the guest speaker.. WALK THE PLANK ME MIGHTY WENCH AND TAKE YOUR XYNG WITH U

  2. My oldest introduced me to the Annoying Orange and it totally freaked me out. I hate that "thing"! Hope you had a great time with your parental units. How awesome that your son is excited about school! As a teacher, that makes my heart sing! We started registration today, and I am ready to get back in the swing. Dana J

  3. Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey, Apple! Wanna hear an annoying noise? AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!~ cate

  4. I love your blog! You keep me laughing.I love fried catfish, it is one of the very few previously alive things I will eat a few bites of.My oldest son LOVES Star Wars, and that is what made him go into film making. One year he deemed it necessary to watch Star Wars every day for a year, and he did!I wore a bikini top this past weekend, and unlike another we know visiting Las Vegas, I did not suffer from under arm boobage hangover. I won't get into the fact that almost 60 year old women should not wear a bikini EVER, but my niece insisted that my sister and I look the right way, rich women who can afford a private cabana at Beachlife (Hard Rock). NEVER again. EVER. Thankfully we have the gene pool of the perpetually thin French mother. NEVER. EVER. AGAIN.Today on the local news, before GMA comes on, there were two funny stories that made me think of this woman in the frozen tundra, which I know is technically Alaska, but you know what I mean. One was about "Goat Man", dressed like and living as a goat in Utah. The other was TMZ's story on Kristi Alley being sued for not losing her weight the way she said, with her diet pills–shocking I knwo. Apparently there is proof that she lost all her weight dancing for 10 hours a day with DWTS, and NOT with the diet pills she is pushing, which are suspected to be a product of the Church of Scientology since the only people pushing them happen to be Scientologists. Have a grand day, enjoy your parents, hug your children a zillion times :)–Mari

  5. Carmen: Hey, I hope I didnt make you mad shoving my email address at you the other day. I was going to tell you about some stuff going on with me (weightloss/sleep study) that I wanted just you to know. I know you have been super busy with your parents and and from the list above, you have had a bunch of stuff to keep you busy. Anyway, I hope you are doing good. I am having trouble dealing with Jen's BS since life is kinda nutso for me right now and havent been on MWOP in days. BTW.. I love your little boys' names.. Cindy

  6. OMG! You did NOT make me mad! I am tickled you gave me your email address. I left you a comment on one of the previous posts telling you I didn't post the comment because I didn't want your email addy to be displayed for all to see. Mom and Dad leave tomorrow, and I will hit you up soon. I hope you're doing good.

  7. LOL!!! Aaaargh, Matey, I be agreein' wit you. And how fucking awesome would a MWOP cruise be? Of course I think we should pay for Anja's ticket ☺

  8. When does school start for you? What grade do you teach? I had no idea what Annoying Orange was until G showed me a video on youtube. When I told him I saw a backpack with Annoying Orange he actually jumped up and down! Ahhh….to be 6 again!

  9. I'm glad I make you laugh, Mari. After that bullshit with colon cancer claims you needed a laugh. Keep us posted on what kind of response (if any) you get. *hugs*

  10. Thanks Amanda! You are right….girls are way easier to name. We had a few rules for names: nothing weird, nothing spelled funny, and nothing that could easily be made fun of. If Garrett had been a girl he was going to be Liliana Grace, and if Preston was a girl he was going to be Maisie Elizabeth. Care to share your girls' names?

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