Get To Know Snort Thursday

I was thinking today while I was washing dishes. Don’t be surprised. I do some thinking every now and again. You guys that read here know some things about me:  I’m married, have two boys, live in the desert, am a former RN, have been clean for over two years from an addiction to pain meds, am a proud MWOPer (, passionately support the residents of Nunavut, and just had a wonderful 10 day visit with Mother and Father Snort. You’ve seen a picture or two of me, J, and the boys, and you’ve probably seen the videos of me during the ill conceived “Operation KABOOM!” All of that is well and good, but today I would like to show you some things from my life so you can get a better sense of who I am and what I like. This will have to be a multipart series, I guess, so today I’ll start with my shoes. My mama always said you can always tell alot ’bout people by they shoes. Where they goin’. Where they been. I don’t have any of Forrest Gump’s magic shoes, but I do have a few pair that I fucking love.

Many of you know I’m having gastric bypass surgery soon. I have slowly been buying some skinny clothes (my surgeon said I could expect to be 140-150 lbs, and that is a size 12 for me), and J has been letting me buy new shoes as well. I love shoes. I love J. And I love that J loves shoes. Hope these give you a glimpse into my personality:

Purple sequins on the side, a pink flower, lime green bow on the back, and zombie teeth on the toes!

These Colin Stuart espadrilles are from Victoria’s Secret. They were originally $80, but I got them on clearance for $29.99 with a $10 coupon on top of that! I love shoes that lace up the ankle!

My gold and turquoise sandals from TJ Maxx. You know…..for conventions and funerals and such. (And yes… fingernails are painted green â˜º)
The rest of my shoes are from Shoedazzle’s B1G1 free sales—2 pair of shoes for $39.99 with free shipping!! I am like Carrie Bradshaw at Shoedazzle!! (Note:  I am not affiliated with them in any way; I just lurve me some Shoedazzle!)

I am thinking next Thursday I’m going to take pictures of my swimming panties and jog bras. Thoughts?

49 thoughts on “Get To Know Snort Thursday

  1. Why don't you just try some magic weight loss pills from McCrazypants? I kid, I kid!Be careful on the shoe buying frenzy, my shoe size also "slimmed down" after my gastric bypass, about a size and 1/2, just a nugget of info from someone who has been there! Good luck on your surgery!

  2. I appreciate the tip! My feet are quite wide right now, but I'm not sure the length will shrink because of my toes and heel; I grew a size while pregnant with Footlong, and even when I was much slimmer I couldn't fit back into my old shoes. How much weight have you lost?I would rather stay a size 24 than buy DMAA and caffeine-laced products from MckCrazypants, thankyouverymuch.

  3. I bow down to you that you can walk in those shoes! I wish I could but I would break my neck. Do you think it's true that the more you wear heals the easier it is to wear them?Sandi

  4. Love, Love, Love your shoe choices. You are about the age, height and weight of my daughter. She's also bought shoes like crazy as they were one of the few things she could buy without having to shop, shop, shop to find something to "fit"Update on how my family is doing with the WLS "sleeve" surgery.Daughter age 29, 5'5 started at weight 280 had surgery 4/25 as of check in last week was at 218. Have not asked for current weight as I don't like to be asked my weight so I don't ask hers. Figure if she wants to share she'll tell me. Goal for her is to buy cute boots this fall that will fit her calf without having to try on 30 pairs to find one that she can zip up. Last week went to Target and bought a skirt in the "regular" dept. I think if the skirt had been ugly she still would have bought since it's the first time since high school she was able to buy anything in the regular dept. She can't wait until she can run to the store and buy something to wear if she has the opportunity to go somewhere at the spur of the moment.Hubby age (fucking getting old lol) 60 started at 394 had surgery 1/16 last week told me weight was at 285.Don't buy too much in way of clothes from store as I've never seen anyone go thru sizes as quick as my 2 have. Hubby went from 56 to 42 in 4 months. Daughter has gone from 24/26 to almost 16/18 in 3 months. Hoping soon you'll be on the "other" side.

  5. Yay for hubby and daughter! That is wonderful! I have bought some jeans at Costco; one pair in size 18, one pair 16 for my way down. I have some old jeans in the closet that are 22 and 20. Tell your daughter to check out shoedazzle!

  6. Welcome! Again, I'm not affiliated with shoedazzle, but they have about 10-15 pair of boots up right now….mainly booties and different cowboy boots. They are sold out of the knee high boots I bought two weeks ago.

  7. Hi Snort,Love your blog! I'm a MWOP lurker which is how I found you. You are hilarious!I've lost 70lbs since December, more than Mckmama (and shockingly without any crazy caffine pills). So best of luck to you on your journey! I still want to lose 50 more.P.S. My shoe size has gown down a whole size! All my shoes are too big/falling off of me now. So save your receipts.

  8. Thank you, and I'm happy you like reading here. Congratulations on your weight loss!!!!!As for the shoes, I'm really not able to wear them right now (with the exception of the gold and turquoise flip flops)because my feet are so wide. I have worn the same size shoe for over 7 years now, and that includes gaining and losing 70 pounds. I'm pretty confident my feet will remain as long as they are, but I'm hoping desperately they will get thinner! If the shoes do get rather loose I have some adhesive thingies I can put in there. I am so happy for your weight loss! How many sizes clothing-wise are you down?

  9. Hey snort, the shoes are gorgeous by the way. I'm down from a 26 to a 18!!! My goal is to be a size 14. I'm pretty much out of the "plus" sizes now, which for me is amazing that I can shop in regular stores!

  10. I am really happy for you! When J and I got together 10 years ago I was an 18/20. Add 2 pregnancies, some depression, and hypothyroidism and I'm a 24 or 26 now. The surgeon said that given my frame and how much I weighed growing up as an active teenager I could expect to get down to 145 or 150 which puts me at a 12 or loose 14. He said it is doubtful I would be able to maintain a lower weight than 140.

  11. What a fun post Snort! Oh, those zombie shoes are to die for! I'm a big Walking Dead fan. I'm in awe that you can pull off those hiiiggghh heels. Being 5'8" I always steered clear of stilettos. Can I say that I am in lurve with that lamp? It's a beaut!

  12. Thanks, Skirts! I am 5'5'', so the heels put me at 5'10'' or so; it is kinda awkward because at 5'10'' I am taller than J!The lamp and shade are from Target. That is the only place I buy home decorating stuff!Don't know if you saw, but I commented earlier to a reader that the zombie shoes are Iron Fist "Lady Killer" shoes in case you want to snag a pair. I paid $50.

  13. Oh there are many of those shoes that I would love. But alas, I hate wearing heels. I love the zombie shoes though. I also love shoes that tie around the ankle gorgeous. I think it's because I have fat legs and I think they make even my fat legs looks sort of sexy. I'm embarking upon a diet and weight loss journey too. I need to lose about 80 lbs and am going to do with diet and exercise; no Xynging here. I'm really going to try to make it stick this time. I started a blog to chronicle it, because my main blog is read by too many people I know. And honestly, I don't feel like sharing all of my food issues with everyone down to my mother in law. Hope your pre-surgery prep continues to go well! ~WUWD

  14. Hi Snort!My foot had a shoe-gasm!! Those shoes are the awesome!I am a quasi-lurker at MWOP and a daily reader here (and some days you get 2 clickeroos from me so I can read your gems out loud to hubby). You said in an earlier post you sometimes draw blanks on coming up with topics. Gurrrrrrrrrrl, do I have a trainwreck for you to discuss!! Courtney Stodden. I can't wait to hear what your thoughts are on her footwear and clothing!!! Hope you have a super Friday!!! ❤

  15. Girl, if I get started on Courtney Stodden I may never stop. Have you watched any of her videos, like the slutty Christmas one or the one where she is pretending to be a cat? And what 16 or 17 year old girl dresses like a $10 crack hoe? And her parents gave their consent for her to wed a man older than her father! WTF?!?And I am tickled you read here and even read to hubby. I hope I don't bore him :/

  16. OMG, yes, I have seen those videos!! And in so many of her pictures she looks SO MUCH OLDER than her age. Frosted lipstick, stripper shoes and that armband bracelet… I am constantly amazed that her parents approved of her marrying a man that is older than they are. SMDHHubby laughs his ass off at many of your posts. Parts of your Vajazzled post get quoted here quite often. You have quite the gift for blogging. Your Nunavut post inspired us to give up a pizza every month to send a box to a family (it should get mailed on Friday) *and* we plan to deliver a box of food items to our local food pantry as well. Who knew that us evil MWOPers had a heart, eh?

  17. So how do you get recommended for surgery. I've been thinking about it just because it's been so difficult to get the weight off that I put on when I got hurt. Part of it is though that I'm stubborn, I like what I eat. Weight Watchers is working, I'm losing weight slowly and I do work out five days a week so I'm strong.I hate though that I can wear shoes like that anymore. They aggrevate my back and my newly developed patellar tendonitis. Yay for me. Fix my back, pick up another issue in my knees because I'm working out harder than ever.Good luck with it.

  18. Hey girl! I love learning more about you. I don't have your taste in shoes, but that's okay. LOL At 6 ft tall, heels would be a bit redundant. That and with the lack of depth perception, it would be a "killer" combination. Pun intended!

  19. LOL! I bought that first pair of shoes (the zombie ones with flowers) at an "adult boutique," and there they had the real stripper come fuck me shoes. I put on a pair as a joke, and they were so damn high I couldn't walk! I don't know how those women wear those things much less spin around a pole in them.

  20. Thanks! I have been jumping through all kinds of hoops for the insurance company, and the very last final thing I have to do is scheduled for 7/31. If that goes well everything goes to the insurance company for approval and then we can schedule a date. The coordinator at the surgeon's office says we're looking at mid-late September probably.

  21. I'm sorry you have back problems and patellar tendonitis. That fucking sucks :(As for surgery a vast majority of insurance companies cover the procedure. These are the general guidelines to qualify for bariatric surgery:1. You must have a BMI of 40 or greaterOR2. You must have a BMI of 35 or greater with at least one chronic health condition caused by your obesity (type 2 diabetes, sleep apnea, gastric reflux, hypertension, etc.)FYI, I meet #1. There are 4 types of bariatric surgery; the gastric bypass and lap band are the ones that are most widely approved. Many insurance companies won't approve the newer gastric sleeve or duodenal switch. Your insurance company has a list of hoops to jump through to get approval. With me, I had to see my PCP once a month for 6 months for medically supervised weight loss, get blood work, meet with a dietician, meet with a psychologist, get an EKG, and get clearance from a cardiologist and pulmonologist. It has been a nightmare. I wish you luck if you decide to go for surgery. If you don't have insurance and are paying our of pocket the cheapest is the lap band.

  22. Holy crap, are you 6 feet tall? Wowza! I knew you were tall by looking at your photos, but that is impressive. Yes, heels would be redundant I think—in some of my heels you would be 6'5''!And good pun!

  23. I'm pretty far out, I had my surgery in March of 2005. I was 257 the day I was approved for my surgery, 233 by surgery day (loss due to 10 day liquid diet before surgery). I got down to 162, I felt great but didn't change my habits (kept drinking pop, didn't make exercise a priority). I've climbed back to 215 and stay pretty consistently there. I had a baby last year and gained about 15 pounds during pregnancy and right back to 215 after delivering him. I still feel WAY better than I did at 257 and I'm glad I opted for the surgery…but I kick myself for not sticking "with the program" more and wasting the chance I had to maintain a healthy weight. Which surgery are you having?

  24. I'm doing the gastric bypass. The surgeon said I could get a lap-band and expect to level off at about 190-200 or get the gastric bypass and potentially get down to 140. I have opted for the gastric bypass; I figure if I am going to get this done I am going to opt for what will give me the best chance of leading a healthier, more active life. How did you feel after surgery? Any problems?

  25. You know the funny part is that I don't look as heavy as I am. I have a BMI of 42. I'm slowly losing weight doing the weight watchers/working out thing. It's just slow and learning to live again after an injury that was four years of pain is interesting. It's been ten months and I'm making revelations every day about who I am and who I want to be. It's crazy what you don't care about when you're not in pain anymore.That reminds me, time to look for my next tattoo design. LOL!

  26. Come on Snort.. We want more videos.. How about showing us your family closet on video. The video you did that last time was awesome. We need more!!

  27. My favorite is the open-toed beige one above the teal one. I recently lost almost 30 pounds (and I hope to lose more!!), and am getting back into the world of heels. Love them, but I'm still totally clumsy in the 4 inch. I start losing feeling in my feet. 🙂 Maybe a couple more pounds is all that's needed?

  28. I felt pretty good soon after surgery. The main problem I has was drinking enough fluids. I have always hated drinking water so when that was the only thing I should have been drinking, I wasn't drinking enough to stay hydrated, that led to some nausea and feeling crappy. Once I got past that it was smooth sailing! Feel free to email me if you wanna chat more! 🙂

  29. I believe you are the first person, I have met, tat may have a bigger shoe addiction than I do. The rocker scientist had to actually build me a shoe closet with floor to ceiling shelves to house 400/500 pairs of shoes. I am in serious she heaven when I step into Nordstrom, and even more at the The Rack where they are cheaper, and I can live with 'so last season' in shoes. And handbags.–Mari

  30. So along with your marital status, your children, your former occupation, and your recovery status…. BEING A MEMBER OF MWOP IS LISTED?????!!!!?????IT IS THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU????!!!!! Looks like another intervention should be in your future because that is CRAZY!Seriously, as a human being, as a wife, as a mom, you are so much more than that.

  31. MWOP is important to me. There is more to MWOP than disliking Jennifer McKinney. I am proud to have made many friends and belong to a community of diverse women (and a few men) who offer advice, support, encouragement,ask questions, sympathy, share their experiences, and are not afraid to (politely) disagree with me and state their opinions. So yes, in regards to those aspects, I am a proud member of MWOP. Friendships have formed over the course of a few years on MWOP and the precursor sites. In addition, I am not defined by just those things that I listed. You want more? I am a college graduate, an obese woman, a person who suffers from depression and anxiety, someone who is afraid of snakes, a spousal abuse survivor, a sorority sister, an atheist, a lover of textbooks, a keen map reader, a lefty, and proud to be who I am.It looks like you perhaps need an intervention to stop you from being so judgemental. I may not agree with everything that defines you, but I would never give you shit about it.

  32. Would you believe that the beige shoe you like is one of the most comfortable? It really is. As for your feet, losing weight always helps, but make sure you're buying the right size shoes and that any straps/buckles are not too tight.

  33. You have an entire shoe closet? *swooning* That is awesome. I only own 20 pairs or so. What you saw above, one pair of sneakers, two more pair of flip flops, and a few more pairs of sandals and pumps. We are on a budget, so I do my shoe shopping at, Target, and TJ Maxx. I also get all of my purses at TJ Maxx.

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