A Little More About Me

I sometimes struggle with the idea of writing a blog. The thought lingers in the back of my mind that no one in their right mind would care to waste five minutes reading about the mundane things that make up my life. I know that a lot of you tell me I’m funny and make you laugh, but I can’t be funny everyday, can I? Survey says:  no, no I can’t. In today’s post I will just write about whatever is going through my mind. Brace yourself for a potentially convoluted and boring shit storm.

I am in Olympic heaven! I love both the Winter and Summer Olympics, and I watch every single sport except for soccer and ice hockey. Since Saturday I have become versed in shooting (air rifle), archery, canoe/kayaking, handball (it’s soccer for your hands!), gymnastics, swimming, diving, synchronized diving, equestrian events, rowing, badminton, and weightlifting. I was really pissed off to read about the 8 female badminton players who were disqualified for not playing their best; they were, in fact, trying their best to lose so they would get an easier draw in the next round of play. Are you fucking kidding me? Who works their ass off to go to the Olympics and loses intentionally? Did they think no one would notice that they all of a sudden forgot how to hit the shuttle cock thingie? Jesus. That is like Michael Phelps jumping in the pool and doing the doggie paddle because he “forgot” his butterfly stroke. Speaking of the Olympics, I don’t know about y’all, but Danny Boyle’s opening ceremonies made me feel like I had dropped acid. I am so glad Matt Lauer and Meredith Viera were providing some narration because I would have had no fucking clue as to what was going on. In the span of two hours (or less) we went from pastoral England with live farm animals and Shakespeare to a psychedelic mish-mash of teenagers dancing and texting with steam towers, dancing nurses, Mr. Bean on keyboard, Her Majesty taking a flying leap with James Bond, and a giant Harry Potter villain thrown in for good measure. I mean no disrespect to any lovely Brits that may read here, but it wasn’t what I was expecting. At all. The torch is totally awesome though! I love that each country competing in the games is part of the final product.

I am a hot, sweaty mess right now. I just got through cooking dinner, and I’m so uncomfortable and nauseated that I didn’t even eat. I made a breakfast of sorts. I made frozen Potatoes O’Brien (I’m not sure who this O’Brien person is and why he has potatoes named after him, but the mix of potatoes, onions, and bell peppers is delicious), bacon, poached eggs, and Hollandaise sauce. I served the potatoes covered with diced bacon, sliced grape tomatoes then topped with the eggs and sauce. I sat down with my plate, and I swear to gawd that the food was mocking me. “You cooked for an hour, and look at this plate….it looks like lumpy vomit!” I had a glass of diet soda instead. Perhaps if I cut out diet soda and real food I could afford Xyngular. LOL. I made a funny.

I fucking hate PMS. Seriously. It is all I can do to not cram a pair of pliers up there, snatch out my uterus, and just be done with this monthly shit. I’m bloated, moody, exhausted, and no fun to be around right now. I also want an Oreo Blizzard. I hate it. My doctor wanted to put me back on birth control pills, but I refused. I do not want to be on birth control pills anytime close to having surgery because I am so worried about the increased risk of me developing a blood clot or pulmonary embolism, and then I will be one of those people calling the 1-800 number on TV because me or a loved one has experienced a potentially lethal side effect or died after taking Yaz. Thanks, but no thanks.

My cousin had a baby boy yesterday. Welcome to the world, Elijah James Bloodsworth!

Today was “Support Chick-Fil-A” day. Personally, I just think this whole thing is crap and has been blown out of proportion. I support and accept those in the LGBT community wholeheartedly. While I don’t agree with those who don’t support gay marriage, I recognize that they are entitled to their own beliefs and opinions. My favorite part is this: someone asked a conservative Christian man who doesn’t allow his restaurants to be open on Sundays what he thinks about gay marriage and then was shocked and outraged with what he said. Um, hello?!? Did you not see that one coming? If folks are making a big deal out of this where is it going to end up? Will every restaurant have to post their beliefs on the wall next to the nutritional info? “Hello, and thank you for choosing to eat at Xxxx today. We here at Xxxx are pro-choice, support the NRA, vote democrat, support Obamacare, think gays and lesbians are a-ok, and believe Muslims are terrorists. We believe in the death penalty, we think the trade embargo with Cuba should be lifted, we think all drugs except weed are bad, and we think rapists should have their dicks cut off. We make charitable contributions to Susan G. Komen, the Special Olympics, and our employees give old clothes to Goodwill on a regular basis. We hope this has helped you make an informed decision on whether or not you want to eat a burger here today.”

I am one of these people who will chew gum until the flavor runs out then I’ll swallow it. Like I just did right now. Speaking of chewing, folks who chew with their mouth open drive me batshit crazy. It is like watching someone feed at a trough. Close your mouth, please. And don’t slurp your soup or coffee either.

I’m off to watch more Olympics with J and 6-inch. Footlong is watching cartoons in the other room. G’night everyone.

P.S.  These are my dream shoes. They are KG by Kurt Geiger “Kiki” platform heels from the summer of 2011. If any of you lovely people in the UK know where I can snag a pair please let me know because they are no longer being sold. Seriously. Size 9 US, size 7 UK.

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22 thoughts on “A Little More About Me

  1. I just wrote a long comment and it got eated. So here's the replacement versiom. I don't like the Olympics, maybe I'm the only one. But I'm glad other folks enjoy them. I dunno. Just don't see the appeal. Hope one of your faithful minions, er, readers will gift you the shoes. You work so hard, you deserve them! (haha.) Just watch for rabid shoe bats. Oh my, I'm punchy. My little guy learned to climb out of his crib and now he never wants to sleep anymore. No wooden spoon here so I guess we will just have to get over one this the slow, loving way. Go figure, not smacking your kids with spoons to get them to stay in bed. But I am soooooooo tired. Anyway, guess I'm off to try and sleep. Toddler is asleep on hubby and hubby is snoring like a freight train and I'm supposed to sleep through it. Sigh. ~WUWD

  2. I am right there with you in the "I Love the Olympics" camp. The closer an Olympics get, the more excited I get. I think it all began with the '84 Olympics. I wanted to be Mary Lou Retton. Nevermind I can't even do a decent cartwheel. I am also one of those people who check the medal count often and get excited when we are ahead. I love kicking some foreign sports butt.Breakfast for dinner is the best. My parents used to have breakfast for dinner every Saturday night. Eggs, bacon, homemade hash browns, and tortillas. I can feel my arteries harden just thinking about it. Nowadays, when I run out of ideas for dinner (read: to damn lazy to cook anything else), I make pancakes for dinner. That happens a lot. A lot, a lot.Those shoes are killer! I have a weakness for shoes (my parents used to refer to me as Imelda Marcos) but I can't justify buying shoes like that anymore. They just aren't practical for teaching elementary students. I'd have them off before math. lol!p.s. FB friend request sent 😉

  3. People that chew with their mouths open drive me crazy too! Ugh and slurping?!?! SERIOUSLY?! UGH just stop. My freaking dad calls me at work to chat about once a week and he SLURPS his coffee right in my ear!!!!!!!! God, I'm getting pissed just thinking about that right now!Also, those adorable shoes look like delicious birthday cake with sprinkles. Mmmm

  4. I like the Olympics too! My husband and kids are bummed because there's no baseball or softball. I don't know if you have an iPad but I got a cool Reuters Olympic app and it was free.Sorry about the PMS. It sucks monkey balls. I had a full hysterectomy 3 years ago, (I'm BRCA 1 +, 9 yr breast cancer survivor) and so I had a high risk of ovarian cancer. I've gained some weight and the hot flashes suck, but I have to say its really nice to have no more periods! No more PMS, I just think I'm in a constant state of bitchiness, lol. Hang in there, it won't last forever.Well, off to do some school shopping, my kids are so excited (not). Have a great day!

  5. Yes to not chewing with your mouth open. I love the Olympics, but have been totally un-American, as I've been watching Season 2 of Weeds rather than NBC all week. I have some thoughts on Chick-fil-A and finally wrote them down this morning. They aren't profound, or funny, just thoughts. And did you know, and you probably do, that it's considered POLITE to slurp your soup in China? A sign of respect and appreciation for the good. For reals.

  6. Hi Snort, love your blog, you crack me up. But I did want to chime in on the Chick-fil-a stuff.The reason it's a big deal is not because of the owner's beliefs, it's because Chick-fil-a donates (millions of $$$) to organizations that actively try and oppress gay people. One of the organizations has even been classified as a hate group by the SPLC.

  7. Hi Snort. Thanks for the actually less boring then you would think post. I havent watched the Olympics. Would like to but havent found time. That said, I keep asking my husband the medal count.I dont get the hoopla around the chik fil a mess. Slow news day perhaps? I just feel like he is entitled to his opinion and to donate his money however he feels moved. Should I find that his opinion and donations bother me I will quietly go about my way to McDonalds or some other mind numbingly large corporate food service outlet. I actually do not feel the same way that he does but I feel that he has the right to his beliefs as much as I have a right to mine. I also dont want people telling me what to do with my money.Have a great weekend.Darlene

  8. Your post made me giggle! I loved you being punchy! 6-inch figured out how to get out of his hammock bed the other day, so I think we're going to be assembling his crib this weekend. How is Baby White Puppy? And I feel ya on the snoring hubby; J sounds like a yeti.

  9. I am so glad someone else enjoys them like I do! I remember some parts of the 84 Olympics—I was almost 6 years old. It was with Mary Lou that I became obsessed with gymnastics, but my mom and dad didn't have the extra money for costly gymnastics lessons. I love breakfast for dinner. I have discovered that I would rather make a homemade warm fruit compote for pancakes in lieu of syrup. Put 2 cups berries or sliced fruit in a small pot. Add the juice of 1 orange and a tsp of sugar. Cook on low heat (water will exit the fruit and provide a liquidy syrup) until it is hot, bubbly, and has thickened some. Delish!I am so glad we are friends on FB now! I was looking at your page, and I finally got to see a normal size picture of you—you are so pretty! Being a Cowboys fan and all do you watch the Dallas Cowboys cheerleading show on CMT? I do, and I think they are such awesome dancers! Pet Raven for me 🙂

  10. My dad (Hi, Dad!) slurps coffee too! My father-in-law drives me bonkers though; he microwaves his ice cream until it is a lukewarm soup, and he slurps that. It's awful because he eats slow! And I love your description of my dream shoes: cake with sprinkles! Sounds so festive!

  11. I also can't stand people talking with their mouth full of food. Whenever I watch re-runs of "Sex and the City" or the movies I have to fast-forward through the scenes of Carrie eating because she does that, and I think it is gross. I haven't checked out "Weeds," but I have heard wonderful things about it. I think it is on Netflix, but I could be mistaken. And I don't think I want to visit China anymore. Just kidding! I have always wanted to visit there. There are some countries (I forget which) where it is also considered a sign of respect and appreciation toward the cook to belch loudly during the meal. Here's hoping that there are no countries where farting during a meal is encouraged!

  12. Arse! I can't believe you took the time to try and find me those shoes! I love you for doing that! Sadly those are waaaaaaaaaaaay too small! I even sent the customer service dept. at Kurt Geiger an e-mail (they are based in London), and they had no more in their warehouse. They suggested I try Harrod's.

  13. Hi, Cate! I love that you love my blog. I really love that you chimed in on the Chick-Fil-A stuff. I love hearing other people's thoughts and opinions. I knew that the company donated money to organizations that are anti-gay so to speak, but I didn't know that one of them was a hate group. I don't know how you feel about same sex marriage personally, but I am all for it. Some of the most important people in my life are gay. My uncle and his partner have been together for 20 years, and I know they would love to be married. My oldest friend in the world is a lesbian, and I would love for her to have the opportunity to marry if she wanted to. It is a shame that we can't all be equal in every sense of the world and that religion gets dragged into everything. I'd love to hear your POV! And what is the SPLC? It's not ringing a bell.

  14. I feel the same way you do, Darlene. I'm glad you enjoyed the blog post. Sometimes I feel like I bore people to death, especially on the days when I can't think of anything good to post about.

  15. Baby white puppy is great. She sleeps like a champ. We had to ultimately put the crib mattress on the floor inside of the crib structure, and little boy can only sleep in footed pj's, haha! Baby is a great eater, a great sleeper, and just Coos and goos all the time. They're great siblings, too. Seem to really love each other!

  16. OMG, how did I skip over your comment? I'm sorry. I try so hard and reply to everyone, Michelle. J is bummed there is no baseball as well. I think I heard they may be adding it back in 2020 or something? Not sure. I don't have an ipad or iphone; I've got a Blackberry, and the damn BB store has so few apps that I didn't even bother looking for an Olympic app. Congrats on being a cancer survivor! As for the PMS, the big event has arrived, and I am crippled by cramps, a headache, and I just want to be alone. I sort of envy you for not having to deal with this shit anymore. Footlong starts back to school on August 9th. When are your kids starting?

  17. Yay Snort! No worries, thanks for the reply! Sorry that "Aunt Flo" is around, and the heat probably doesn't help either. It's about 100* here in So Cal, blech, I can't wait for the winter!My kids start on Aug 13th. One is a Junior, one is in 7th, and one is in 5th. 3 different schools, the mom taxi will start soon! My oldest will hopefully get his license in Sept. so he can drive his own butt around, but of course I will worry about him then. I trust him, he's a great kid but there are so many wackos on the road! Oh well, I'll worry about it when the time comes. Have a great night!

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