It is fucking hot as hell right now. Yesterday hit 114, today we are at 112. We don’t have central air; we have a swamp cooler and one portable AC unit in our living room. It is pretty damn miserable at Casa Snort right now.
The last couple of days I have been reading about Chad Johnson (aka Chad Ochocinco) getting arrested for physically abusing his new wife, Evelyn. Since this all went down he has been cut from the Miami Dolphins, and VH1 has cancelled his reality show (that, ironically, centered on he and Evelyn dating then getting married). Bravo to them for sending the message that spousal abuse won’t be tolerated. And I have to quote Chris Tucker in “Friday” as well: “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn! You got to be a stupid muthafucka to get fired on yo’ day off!”
When Mother and Father Snort visited a few weeks ago, they enjoyed this artisan salame I had picked up at the local gourmet market. It is delicious! They couldn’t find any once they got home, so I, being the awesome daughter that I am (LOL), ordered them some from Amazon. I got an e-mail receipt when my purchase shipped, and here is part of it:
I am so fucking relieved to see that Mother and Father Snort will be receiving new salame as opposed to used salame! I have been fretting about that ever since I placed the order.
McDonalds has the best Diet Coke in the world. I don’t know why that is, but I love that shit. I am drinking one right now as a matter of fact. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. *burp* ‘Scooze me.
I took 6-inch to the pediatrician yesterday for his 12-month well-baby visit. He is a healthy little man! Both Footlong and 6-inch take after their father: short and of average weight. 6-inch is 29 inches tall (25th percentile), weighs 22 lb 4 oz (60th percentile) and has a head that measures in the 98th percentile. Basically both of my boys are short, average weight, and have big heads. LOL! 6-inch will be transitioning off formula to whole milk, and we will more than likely be needing to consult with feeding specialist regarding his aversion to solid foods. Other than that he is doing well, and here is a video of 6-inch babbling as we waited for the pediatrician:
This is what I woke up to the other morning:
My paperwork for bariatric surgery was officially submitted to the insurance company yesterday!
It is time for another haircut and eyebrow wax.
We have discovered that Footlong is a sleepwalker.
This is me in high school when I weighed 150 lbs and was a size 14:
Ahhhhhhh…..to be young again!
I read on FB this morning that a 14 foot long python weighing 200 lbs was caught in my hometown. That is literally my worst nightmare.
That is enough randomness for one day. I bored myself writing this post!