Most of the time I try to post humorous things here at The Snort Files, but today I thought that I would share what our weekend was like. I’m not going to write in the style of my alter ego, MockMama. I’m not going to punctuate it with photos of my shoes or product descriptions from DinoDirect. I probably won’t even be funny. Sometimes I’m afraid that if I’m not funny y’all won’t read here; I feel like I have to entertain you. That said, here is a glimpse into my real life:
I count Friday as part of the weekend. 6-inch and I had an appointment with a feeding therapist for an evaluation; he is 13 months old (today!), and he will not eat solid food. He just started eating baby food maybe 2 months ago. He had alot alot of problems with reflux and vomiting as a tiny baby, and even though the problems resolved when he was about 7 months old his pediatrician said this may be a texture issue. Whenever I put a solid in his mouth (puffs, Cheerios, baby yogurt drops) he gags and wretches. We, unfortunately, had to cancel the evaluation because we both had a little tummy bug–diarrhea and vomiting for the both of us! J took pity on me and came home from work at 2:00 pm; he picked up Footlong from school too. I went to bed about 4:30 pm and woke up at 10:00 pm; I got up, peed, ate something, and went back to bed about 1:00 am and slept clear through until morning.
Our good friends were coming over for a visit Saturday afternoon, so Saturday morning was spent picking up the house. One of my blog readers, MiMi, sent me pictures from her shoe collection; I’m so glad I’m not the only shoe whore out there! She asked to see more of my shoes, so I did a shoe photo shoot on the dining room table and then blogged. J picked up lunch from Cracker Barrel; he ate lemon pepper grilled trout with green beans and macaroni and cheese. Footlong ate his usual fried shrimp and fried okra. I had catfish, turnip greens, okra, and cornbread. 6-inch had a bottle (50% whole milk, 50% formula). See? How boring is this?!? Our friends arrived about 3:00 pm. We call them our Mormon counterparts because they are exactly like us….except they are Mormon. D is my best friend; she is funny as hell and has a wicked sense of humor. A is the counterpart to J; they are both computer and video game nerds. A is also quite funny, but he is much quieter than D. Footlong and their son, L, are best friends. They brought with them some extended family. Me, D, and her sister-in-law went to Fascinations which is an “adult” boutique if you get my meaning. I have to be delicate here because my parents read my blog (Hi, Dad! Hi, Mom!). We then went to AJ’s, a gourmet market that has amazing desserts, for some sweets and drinks. The guys stayed home and played video games. We had so much fun. After their extended family left D and I went to a Chinese/Thai restaurant to pick up dinner. I tried Thai food for the first time (chicken Pad Thai and some kind of fish entrée) and didn’t care for it. I don’t know if it was shitty Thai food or that I just don’t like Thai food–I’ve never eaten Thai before so I have nothing to compare it to. I’m thinking I should try it from another restaurant sometime to see if it is better. They left about 10:00 pm to drive back to Phoenix. We got Footlong to bed and played with 6-inch for a bit until he was ready to go down. J and I then snuggled up on the couch and watched some Olympics that were still on our DVR (rhythmic gymnastics, women’s mountain biking, and the men’s marathon). J got the bed linens out of the dryer, made the bed, and I went to sleep around 3:00 am.
Sunday was boring. We usually spend it relaxing. J likes to play video games or Pokemon with Footlong. 6-inch crawled and explored the house. I went shopping at CVS and then to a dollar store for J’s birthday. We don’t have alot of extra $$$ right now, so I bought a shit ton of candy (J has a major sweet tooth). I filled a gift bag full of miniature candy bars, Fun Dip, Toblerone, gummy bears, Airheads, and miniature Sugar Daddies. For dinner last night we had left over chicken and broccoli (Footlong’s entrée from the night before–my kid fucking LOVES him some broccoli), spicy cornbread, smashed potatoes with butter and chives, and lima beans (as requested by Footlong. Seriously. He loves lima beans too.). Footlong finished his homework packet which involved reading, spelling, and neatly writing his spelling words 3 times each. He also had to do worksheets where he wrote his birthday, address, and phone number. I love that our school district requires homework for ALL grades; he even had homework last year in kindergarten. We love his school. We rent our home, and our two-year lease is up in February. We are hoping to renew and stay here, but if our landlords decide to sell the house (their ultimate goal) we will be having to find another place. Regardless, we will keep Footlong at his school. He brought home forms from the Scholastic book fair, and we picked out a bunch of stuff totaling almost $70.00. That was for about 15 books. He has to read for 20 minutes every night, so we are happy to buy him books and build a little library for him. I try reading to 6-inch, but he fucking hates it and will not be still. I’ll just keep trying. 6-inch was in his Johnny Jump-Up last night (one of those bouncy things that hangs from the door frame), and he spun himself in circles until he puked. We got him out of the thing, and he proceeded to puke all over me. We skyped with my parents (and my grandmother and uncle who are at my parent’s house right now). It makes me sad that they can’t visit with their grandkids when they want. They live in Alabama, my brother, sister-in-law, and niece live in Louisiana, and we’re in Arizona. I am grateful, however, that they can at least see their grandkids everyday. I grabbed a shower, and J bathed both boys. Footlong goes to bed about 9:30 pm, and every night he has fruit and milk as a bedtime snack. That has been his snack since he could eat solid foods. 6-inch fell asleep about 10:30. J and I spent some time together, and then he fell asleep watching TV. I got on the computer and MWOPed (I know that is not a verb) for a bit then watched “Believe” on Netflix. That movie had me amused from beginning to end; it is a satirical mockumentary about people who join a MLM organization, also known as a pyramid scheme; you know what I’m talking about: Mary Kay, Xyngular, and Shaklee to name a few. I ate two glazed donuts (my vice), felt guilty about it, then went to bed about 1:00 am.
I hope you haven’t been thoroughly bored by my real life. What did you do this weekend?