Your Questions Answered

I’m friends with many wonderful ladies on MWOP and Facebook, and I even get e-mails from some of you. While I enjoy getting to know all of you I’m not always able to answer your e-mails and FB messages as thoroughly as I would like. There are also some questions that are inside comments that I don’t approve here on “The [SNORT] Files,” namely the ones that rake me over the coals because of my former drug use or my choice to “cheat” and have weight loss surgery. Since 6-inch is down for a nap right now I thought I would make a list of questions in various e-mails/FB messages/and comments and just answer them here.

Don’t you think referring to your first husband as “Asshole” is rude? How would you like it if he blogged and referred to you as something just as awful? Why do you think it is ok to refer to someone publicly as “Asshole?”

Well, that would be par for the course. Our relationship was abusive. We dated for two years before we ran off the courthouse one day and eloped. Things between us were absolutely amazing for the first 5 or 6 months of our relationship. He was romantic, brought me flowers, told me all those sweet-nothings that we women love to hear, and he proposed. As time wore on he started yelling, holding things from my past against me (like the fact that I had dated xxxxx or the number of people I had slept with), and threatening to kill himself if I left him. He told me I should be grateful that he loved me because no one else would because I was such a spoiled rotten whore. A pattern developed where he would get really, really mad, yell at me, belittle me by calling me names, and then leave. He would be gone for days and days then show up all of a sudden with flowers and an apology. Not long after we were married I discovered his long history of infidelity and his drug use. One night the cops were called after my neighbors could see him through the living room window pushing and slapping me. He had me broken down to the point where I had no self-esteem and believed that I had to stay with him because no one else would ever love a shitty person like me. Him getting arrested was a wake-up call, and I filed for divorce two weeks later. We have not seen or spoken to one another in over ten years, and we are both remarried. I could not care less how he would refer to me if he blogged. I’m certainly not going to use his real name on the blog; I would not feel right about doing that, but, honestly, I don’t feel bad at all calling him “Asshole.”

“Did you really live in the same neighborhood as Casey Anthony? What was she like?”

I did indeed live in the same neighborhood as the Anthony family, but they had not yet arrived when we lived there. Our house was built brand new in January 1986, and we moved in immediately. The house later occupied by her family on Hopespring Dr. was about 15 houses away. My old house was on Reginald Rd. We moved out of the neighborhood and back to Georgia in early April 1989; that’s about the time they moved into the neighborhood. The area where little Caylee’s body was found was a popular spot for the neighborhood kids to play. At the time it was a dead-end road, and we used to do down there and skate, skateboard, ride bikes, and just hang out. That little road was surrounded on all sides by woods, and on the right side of the road in the woods is where her body was found. The road, after we moved away, was extended to another neighborhood and elementary school built behind our complex. Using Google Earth, I have made this handy map:

You’ve been through bankruptcy and destroyed your career with your selfish addiction to drugs. What makes you think you’re so much better than MckMama?

I am no better than MckMama. I am no better than you. I am no better than anyone else. We all have skeletons in our closets and battle our own demons. Some people cheat on their spouses. Some people shoplift, and some people gamble uncontrollably. Unfortunately, my demons are a matter of public record. It is very humbling and embarrassing to know that anyone can read about my drug abuse. Do I wish people didn’t know my real name and had no knowledge of this stuff? Of course. But, for the one millionth time, it is what it is, and I am who I am; that just happens to be a part of my life story. As far as the bankruptcy is concerned, bankruptcy laws in this country are blind to who may file–they just have to meet the criteria. The bankruptcy courts don’t care if the debts were acquired through frivolous spending or an onslaught of bills, etc. The thing with bankruptcy is being honest and filling in all the blanks. We hated to file, but we had debts that we couldn’t pay while I was in rehab. We had lived paycheck to paycheck first with J in grad school then when Footlong got really sick when he was about 8 months old. We were always one major accident or illness away from having to file. We were upside down on our mortgage. Now, I am no better than MckMama, but at least I was (and am) honest. I didn’t try to cheat the system. We listed our incomes. We even counted what was in Footlong’s piggy bank to list as part of our “cash on hand.” We had John’s electric guitars and amps appraised; we had our jewelry appraised too. I didn’t under report my income by almost $100,000. I didn’t lie about deposits, cash on hand, etc. I didn’t show preference to repaying creditors (as she did with her father), and we certainly didn’t have monetary “gifts” to people. I didn’t sell an RV then claim to not own it and not mention how much I sold it for. My beef with her is that she is a liar. We have no tax debt! Uh, yes you do. Our BK is over! Uh, no it’s not. I would have no issue with MckMama whatsoever if she would just man up to her readers (from who she makes her money, by the way) and say, “Here is the truth in all it’s glory with no wordsmithing!”

What are the best and worst things you cook?

I had to ask J that question. He says my Cuban food and Korean food are his favorites. He says he really doesn’t dislike anything I cook, but I will say I make horrible mashed potatoes. They’re terrible.

Did you have Footlong and 6-inch with no problems?

The births were good. Footlong was born vaginally after a loooooooooooooooooooooong labor. I labored for 30 hours then pushed for 2 hours. He had quite the cone head, but all went well. I had a small second-degree tear and got 7 or 8 stitches. 6-inch was a scheduled labor induction at 38.5 weeks because my BP had been creeping up the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy. I labored for 12 hours and never progressed past 4 cm. My epidural wore off on one side, and I had the most fucking awful back labor. They finally took me in for a C-section about two hours later. As soon the OB pulled him out she found that his umbilical cord was coiled on top of his head which prevented any pressure on my cervix; that is why I didn’t dilate further.

Why don’t you ever mention J’s parents?

I dunno. They exist  ☺  He has a mom, dad, a younger sister, and a brother-in-law. We don’t have any nieces or nephews. We talk or skype with my family every day; we only talk or skype with them twice a month or so. That side of the family just doesn’t seem to be as tightly knit as my side. I lucked out in the in-law department though; they are all great.

If you could go back in the past and not choose nursing what would you do?

I would either have gone to the Culinary Institute of America in New York and be a chef or I would’ve moved to LA and taken classes with the Groundlings comedy troup to chase my wish of being on “Saturday Night Live.”

Do you drink?

I’m assuming you mean alcohol, and yes, I drink socially. I’ll have sometimes 3 or 4 drinks a week then not have any alcohol for six months. It just depends. When I do drink I enjoy a good beer (I’ve been drinking Sam Adams Cherry Wheat lately), a nice glass of white wine, or a cocktail made with vodka. I detest rum, Jack, Jim, and all other scotches/whiskies.

I think you’re brave for admitting you had a drug problem when confronted by your boss. What drugs were you using?

I was using narcotic pain medication, namely morphine and dilaudid. Those were the drugs given most frequently in the ER and the easiest to get a hold of. When I say morphine and dilaudid I’m not referring to pills; I’m referring to the liquid form that you inject as a shot. I’ve never used any illegal drugs like cocaine, meth, heroin, marijuana, etc.

What are you trying to prove by blogging ? You want to make money, right?

Do you see any ads or endorsements on my page? You’re welcome. I blog because a few people suggested that I should. And the keyboard doesn’t talk back to me.

 Are you going to document your weight loss journey here on your blog?

I think so. I have given it some thought. I’m going to do photos and videos. For two weeks prior to surgery I have to start on a high protein liquid diet, so when I begin that I’m going to document my weight and my measurements. That scares me because I know people are going to leave me comments calling me a fat cow disgusting pig, etc. I’m also going to document my weight and measurements the morning of surgery and perhaps once a week thereafter. I don’t want this to become just a weight loss blog because I know a lot of you may not want to read here if that is the case. Rest assured, though, I won’t post naked! LOL

How many people read your blog?

Eh, it depends on the day and what I blog about. My numbers have dropped since I left Blogger and started here at WordPress. Some people that don’t MWOP as much don’t know that I still blog—they visit the old site and see it is no longer there and figure I just stopped altogether. My highest ever number of pageviews in one day was over 6,300. I average anywhere between 600-2000 a day from about 10 different countries (mainly the US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Great Britain, Germany, Russia, Japan, and a few others that I’m forgetting). Sunday is by far the slowest day, reader wise.

Do you like living in Tucson?

Hell no. I’m sorry, but we don’t. Being so close to Mexico there are a lot of problems with gangs, drugs, and crime in general. It would be easier if we had family here, but to be honest, we never, ever intended to settle down here. After J got his Master’s degree, he sent out hundreds of job applications; the only job he was offered was here. We have an agreement that before P is old enough for kindergarten J will look for a job closer to home because by then he will have 10 years of experience in his field. There is not a big tech industry in the deep South, so there is no telling  if he can even find a job. We’re hoping for Atlanta, Birmingham, Raleigh, Baton Rouge, Houston, or a civilian contractor job at the air base in Warner Robbins, GA. Our goal is to be within a 6 hour drive of family.

You look like a total mess in your pictures. Why don’t you treat your rosacea?

How kind of you to notice that I have rosacea. I, along with my doctor and dermatologist, have tried every possible treatment:  Metro-Gel, Metro-Cream, a prescription strength hydrocortisone moisturizer, prescription face washes, prescription oral antibiotics [tetracycline, doxycycline, erythromycin, Oracea], over the counter products like “Prosacea,” and avoiding triggers that make me really red (crying, too much alcohol, and getting too hot). I have to use certain brands of makeup because my skin is so sensitive. My Maw-Maw has rosacea too. How would you like it if I confronted you in front of 1000 people and asked why you didn’t do anything about your bad breath or nappy hair? The fact here, my friend, is that I have tact and you don’t.

Hey, there was a photo you posted on MWOP once of you and 6-inch. You were wearing a green shirt and he was in a white onesie. You had a big smile on your face! Are those your real teeth?

I think this is the photo you’re referring to:

Yes, they are my real teeth, but I’m not going to feed you some bullshit that I was born with teeth like this. I had braces for almost 4 years growing up. I got them when I was 8 and got them off when I was 11. When I was in 1st grade lunch cost $0.75, and I could fit the three quarters in between my front teeth. One of my teeth on the bottom was turned completely sideways. I am fanatical about flossing and always carry those little disposable flossing thingies with me. And I bought a Groupon last year for ZOOM! whitening. I’ve always wanted it done but couldn’t afford the $500 fee; the Groupon was for $129, and that included a dental exam and x-rays too. Instead of doing the in office treatment once I chose to have molds made of my teeth and use the prescription bleaching syringes at home whenever I want. This photo was taken post-whitening. I need to whiten again soon because I drink a lot of coffee and Diet Coke. You like 6-inch’s CK onesie? Got a pack of 4 at TJ Maxx for $5! I love that place. That has nothing to do with teeth.

I loved hearing about you and Mr. Snort reconnecting and getting married in Vegas. Did you wear a wedding dress?

I wore a dress from David’s Bridal; J helped me pick it out! I had no idea I was this wrinkled though; I had just gotten out of the limo. FYI, this dress is a size 20.

Edit:  J asked me to post my wedding portrait taken about 3 weeks prior to the wedding because it is his favorite. For you, my darling (and y’all too):

 

 

 

 

That is more than enough for one post. As always, feel free to comment/e-mail/FB/hit me up on MWOP or whatever. I’m off to make love to the bottle of Day-Quil because we here at Casa Snort are all miserably sick. *cough*

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29 thoughts on “Your Questions Answered

  1. Ok, first of all, you are gorgeous! Also, I think it takes an insane amount of courage to be as authentic as you are on ye olde interwebs. I love reading your blog, but I hate that you get any negativity from it. Doesn’t surprise me, but I hate it.

    • I hate it too. I was absolutely beyond mortified when someone from “that other site” discovered my real name and plastered information from the board of nursing all over their website. But, as much as it sucks, it is what it is, and the way I saw it I had two choices: I could be MckMama-esque and deny like hell, or I could own up to my flaws. The latter seemed to be the better choice 🙂

      And thank you for the compliment! I’m a hot sick mess today, so it brings a smile to my face to know that at one time I was gorgeous. LOL

  2. I love the wedding pics. Very nice!

    I’ve been mentioned by screen name on THAT site. Oh nos! Whatever will I do? Their stupidity is laughable, and I particularly love their lack of knowledge of medications such as dilaudid and morphine.

    Glad you are doing well now, and think you dealt with THOSE people with a lot of grace.

    Keep up the great work, and I do look forward to hearing about your weight loss journey. People not in the know have no clue how hard the surgery route really is. For me, it was not the right choice, but know several people who have done it and have had long term success. I also have several patients who couldn’t do it “the right way” even with surgery and have a lot of long term health problems…not to mention loose skin from lack of exercise.

    I know you’re smart though 🙂

    • “That site” just kills me; it’s where the bullies go to bully the bullies. I guess no one there knows the definition of “irony.” Someone from there once said that maybe I wouldn’t be such a fat ass if I hadn’t let myself gain so much that I got hypothyroidism. Um….hello?!? Hypothyroidism causes weight gain…it’s not the other way around.

      You’re right: the surgery isn’t for everyone. There are certain foods I will no longer be able to eat as they will make me ill. I can no longer drink carbonated beverages. I have to take multiple vitamin and mineral supplements twice a day or risk chronic malnutrition. And my first thought at every fucking meal has to be, “Protein! How much protein am I eating right now?” An old friend of mine had the gastric bypass; she was a size 28 I think. She got down to her lowest when I was pregnant with Footlong; she was a size 6. She even had a tummy tuck. She quit adhering to the rules, started drinking carbonated drinks (the gas from the carbonation stretches your pouch), eating between meals, and 6 years later she is a size 20. I see and read so many success stories, then I read about Carnie Wilson who lost 150 lbs, got a tummy tuck/boob job, and posed for Playboy. Now? She just had a lap-band put around her bypass pouch! I’m terrified of the surgery but very mindful of how this can change my life in a good way. Thank you for your support!

      • Ugh, my largest size ever was a 22, I’m down to a 16 now. My ultimate goal would be an 8 again, but I’d be dancing naked if I could break into 12’s.

        The hardest part for me is starting now. I’ve been at this since early Feb, but had started working out in November. However, I’m bored. It’s hard. I have a husband with a huge appetite. It makes it harder. I have chronic pain r/t bunions, plantar fascitis, and posterior tibial tendon dysfunction. Exercise, ALL exercise is painful. I don’t want to take narcotics, because if I start down that road now, where will I be in 10 years? So I limp along with orthotics, ice, my sweet husband rubbing the sore spots, tylenol, ibuprofen, and tramadol. I’d love to have just ONE day without all of that crap.

        Anyway, long story short…I’m starting a health program at work to try and get through this 1/2 point slump. So, here’s to the next 12 weeks, may we both continue to the path of health AND wellness. I firmly believe you can’t have one without the other.

  3. FYI you look super hot in the picture with 6 inch.

    Thanks for the NZ shoutout haha 🙂

    Hope your family are feeling better soon!

    • Thank you! You really can’t see how “fluffy” I am because the photo is from the boobs up. LOL

      Thanks for reading from NZ!

      And I hope we’re feeling better soon. All you hear in the house is a cacaphony of coughs, sneezes, moans, and me occasionally yelling, “Dammnit! I coughed so hard I peed myself again!”

  4. You and my daughter parallel each other. You are close in age, same weight at the time of WLS surgery, same fairness in color, hair style, skin tone, personality, she takes no shit off of nobody. You wished you went to the CIA. My daughter in her senior year at UNC decided she wanted to be a pastry/baking chef and went on to the CIA after graduation. Is in debt up to her ears in college loans but is doing what she wanted. 5 months after surgery she’s down 83 lbs (200.8), skin has cleared up and no longer has rosaca, no more PCS, no longer complains of being hot all the time, loves shoes and tries on boots all the time as her goal is to buy a pair of boots that fit her calves and looks stylish. So continue to take no shit off of anybody and get ready for the new and improved you. WLS is not for everybody; it takes a strong person to make this choice. It’s not a piece of cake for you or J but the end result will be worth all that you go thru to get there. Stay strong and blog all you want about your upcoming surgery and your success. You will have earned it.

  5. Hey Snort I have the red face too. I get so sick of people asking me about it. It does get old. You have class my friend. I will be posting pics soon red face and all. You gave me the strength girl. I forgot to tell you, I named a little baby girl raccoon Snort. I have a Ding Dong , and Shellie too.

    • I was working my ass off in the ER one night and was quite red; one of the brand new residents saw me and said, “OMG, what is wrong with your face?” I snapped right back at him, “Nothing. What’s wrong with your face?”

      I’m tickled to have a baby raccoon named after me. And until I see an honest to God photo of you, Lindy, I am assuming you are a raccoon as well.

    • Ha! In this ecomony, Shannon, we’ll take what we can get! Our first choice would be the air base in Warner Robbins that hires civilian electrical and aerospace engineers, and our very last choice would be Houston.

  6. Your wedding photos are gorgeous. I look forward to following along on your weight loss journey. I think it will help you stay accountable and stay on track by documenting things, even if for your eyes only. One day, you will look back and you will be smaller than the wedding photos!

    • Thank you! The first time I got married I eloped in boot-cut jeans and a sparkly shirt. Really appropriate, right? I do hope to be smaller than my wedding photos! The surgeon said that if I follow the post-op instructions and taking into consideration my weight, I could expect to get to about 140-150. I would be a 12 or 14. I will swoon with happiness if that happens.

  7. First off, you are a better person than I am to even give some of these people an answer.. Wow, can’t believe some of the hatefullness. Your wedding picture is gorgeous.. You look so happy.. I wish you so much luck on your weight loss surgery and am super excited to watch your journey. Thanks for being you.. You have a story and the guts to talk about the good, bad and ugly and be honest about it all. It is much easier to fabricate and lie and photoshop like someone we know then to be brutally honest and admit the errors and faults we all have.. Sending you a hug from southern Illinois..

    p.s. as your admin, I do not believe you have sent me an expired gift card as payment in months. Come on now, where is the love??

    • I have no problems answering questions; I won’t post hateful comments making fun of the kids, my husband, or some things that just rub me the wrong way. Honestly, admin, if folks want to debate or ask questions or present their POV that’s cool—just be respectful, and I will be too.

      Thank you for the compliments on the wedding pictures! J and I planned our wedding together, and we even went dress shopping together. Looking back, planning that wedding was the most fun we ever had as a young, single couple. And about 25 friends and family members from GA came out for the wedding!

      I am excited but anxious about the surgery. There is something really scary about giving up control and being put under anesthesia and literally putting your life in someone’s hands. I’ve actually had a few panic attacks in the last month thinking about it.

      As for the honesty and guts, it is easier to tell the truth (however embarassing) than to forget what lies you told to who when.

      And, dear admin, I shall immediately send you a photo of my feet along with some glitter Sharpies and a relatively new Diva cup. You rock!!!

      • Your admin (ME) will be ever so happy to receive said photo and the sharpies.. save the diva cup darlin.. hysterectomy in May took me out of the game!

        Don’t sweat the anesthesia part of surgery, things are going to go great and you will be on your way to a healthy new you!

        Hoping you get some well deserved rest and start feeling better. You realize if you took some Xyng, you would not be sick and be three inches taller. That stuff is supposed to be the closest thing to a miracle out there. 😉 Just kidding..

        get some sleep.. Admin’s orders…

  8. I cannot believe the gall of some people. The “women” at the other site are so mean-spirited it is revolting. No one is perfect and everyone, E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E., has a skeleton in their closet. You were just brave enough to own up to it. Too bad SWSNBN can’t do the same. She could learn a lesson from you.

    You are gorgeous, not only on the outside, but on the inside as well. Your husband and your children are lucky to have you. You rock! 🙂

    • Well, we’re mean spirited (some more than others) at MWOP, but IMO, when the truth is literally in black and white (and even captured with sound), all bets are off when it comes to lying about it to make a fast buck. There would be no MWOP and no “other site” if someone just told the truth instead of dancing around things and peppering her conversations with “I’m sorry you must have misunderstood!” and “When I have not told the truth?”

      Thank you for your kind words. I like reading your blog, and last night it made me crave a cupcake because all the paws looked like cupcakes. I had to settle for a cherry turnover. You rock too, and I am glad we are friends!

  9. I can NOT BELIEVE a woman would ask another woman the questions that were “asked” of you!!! You are a strong, courageous, honest, imperfect, GORGEOUS woman and they deserve no answers. All I can say is that the “Haters” really hate themselves, not you…unfortunately they just take it out on classy chicks like you 😦

    • Thank you for the very nice words, Laura. As far as the questions, in my mind, they’re no different than the questions people bombard JM with: everything from, “OMG, that is cute, where did you get it?” to “Who in hell do you think you are? How do you live with yourself?” I just chose to answer some. Some women are just bitchier than others.

      And yes, I am a strong, curageous, honest, imperfect, gorgeous woman. Just like you, I am sure!

    • LOL! The person that left the mean rosacea comment tried to leave it on a post from a couple of weeks ago; there was a photo of me wearing a pair of funny costume teeth, and I was redder than hell. Quite obvious there that I have rosacea. And in lieu I of bleaching syringes for my teeth I brushed with a crushed Xyng capsule last night; I am thrilled to report that my teeth now glow in the dark!!!!!

  10. I’m a long time reader of MWOP, but have never posted. I also go for periods where I don’t read there at all. I loved your blog and was sad when it wasn’t there anymore on Blogger. I finally was able to find you through googling :).

    I love how open and candid you are! And you always make me laugh :). Sorry, you have so many haters! You are just too awesome, they can’t stand it ;).

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