Guess Who…

 

…is wearing a big smile

…even though she is coughing like crazy

…has two thumbs

…and just learned she was granted final approval for gastric bypass surgery.

 

*pointing thumbs at self (and coughing)*

 

THIS GIRL!!!!!!!!

 

 

More details to follow from the surgeon’s office next week as my case will now be handled by someone who coordinates pre-op testing and the class I have to attend. We’re looking at November probably for surgery. Thank you for all your well wishes and support!

 

And can I add one more thing!

 

THE INSURANCE COMPANY HAS VERIFIED THERE WILL BE NO CAMERA UP MY ASS. I REPEAT:  NO CAMERA IN MY ASS. Hallelujah!

 

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54 thoughts on “Guess Who…

  1. Congratulations!

    I’m a titch bummed (pun totally intended) at the last part though. It would’ve made a great instagram pic! :snort:

    • Thank you Shannon, and I hate to sound full of myself, but I’m happy for me too. It’s been 20 years since I have known “skinny Carmen.” Can’t wait to see her again.

  2. They probably realized how uncomfortable it was having their head up their ass and realized that it wouldn’t be too comfortalbe for you having a camera up yours. 🙂 Congratulations, sweetie, that’s great news! xoxo

    • Teddy Ray! Shawty, it’s about time you made some comments up in here. LOL at Aetna! I’m just happy they straightened shit out. Hope you’re having a good day today! Tell the parents I said hello, and I lurve you!

      • Hmmmm. I’d say photos of your feet during your transformation. Videos on how the weight loss affects your sex life while standing in a barn. Written with many words to describe how wonderful your life is. Ehhhh on the actress part, I’d have to say Lindsay Lohan; she’s been in the news a lot, a lot, a lot so you’d get a lot, a lot, a lot of hits on your website.
        This is all in total snark. 🙂 I’m excited for you!

    • Thanks! I enjoy reading your blog! Can I have a link for that crock pot cube steak because I don’t do Pinterest. That is…if you have the time, of course. Thank you!!

      • Thank you! Since we are from the South me and J love cube steak, but the only thing I like to fry is fish. I will definitely try it!!!! In return, can I send you a recipe for something?

      • This is for my family’s all-time favorite pie:

        2 packages cream cheese, softened
        1 can sweetened condensed milk
        1/2 tsp vanilla extract
        1/3 cup lemon juice

        Blend together with a mixer on high speed until smooth and creamy. Pour into a graham cracker pie crust. Chill for at least 8 hours. Top with any kind of pie filling (our favorite is cherry). To make this a key lime pie add a jar of key lime pie flling to the mix and blend it in before pouring into the shell–also substitute 1/3 cup lime juice instead of lemon.

  3. Yipee, finally they approved it and now the instagram photos of snort’s day in the OR can be planned. Perhaps when you meet with the anesthesiologist you can go over camera angles with him. Will you be taking pics of your hospital meals also? Those are all the rage now on instagram.

    • I’m going to hire someone to be in the OR with me to photograph it all. I want weird angles, off-center shots, bright colors, and a big, honkin’ close-up of that tube coming out of my mouth. I will also photograph hospital meals as well as my urinary drainage bag, any bowel movements, and, if you like, we can skype when I have gas.

  4. Alright Snort! Glad to hear everyone is on the same page now. I know you are soooo ready to get this show on the road. They’ve kept you waiting too long.

  5. Yay! It is nice to have that pinned down now. So happy. My mom did so well with hers. After this big surgery she just had, her gyno gave her a gratis tummy tuck while he was in there pulling all of her innards out. She just realized it yesterday now that most of her swelling has gone done.

    • Dude, I wish my gyno would do that! I know of a friend who got the insurance to pay for her tummy tuck post-bypass, but that’s because she kept getting skin infections. I’m happy your mom is doing so well! When does chemo start?

      • She says that after this past surgery she would never have the surgery to remove the excess skin bc of the recovery time and pain. Her insurance company would pay for it all as well.
        She gets her port in Tuesday, follow up with Oncologist Thursday and then get the chemo scheduled. Thanks for asking =)

  6. WoooooooooooHooooooooo!

    Also, you need a Pinterest account for when you’re recovering from your surgery. It is an EXCELLENT time-waster.

    So glad you got approved!

    • I refuse to Pinterest. I also refuse to scrapbook, write poetry, like chick flicks, listen to Mariah Carey or Jewel, and own stuffed animals. Those are some of my Snort dislikes. I plan on reading, and chilling out while having total control of the TV remote. And thanks for the well wishes!

      • Well, of course you’re not going to scrapbook now that the camera’s been cancelled. But you have to admit that “My Colonoscopy” would make a fantastic coffee-table book. With a lace covered picture frame on the front for the best pic.

      • I wish I’d known to collect people’s ideas for the time in forced recovery for my hysterectomy (4 weeks and 3 days to go to freedom). The hospital staff kept making me laugh because I didn’t have visitors (too far and disrupt my sleep) and I had a Nook and knitting with me but had trouble because some meds made my eyes cross and I couldn’t see well. But it seemed everyone thought I didn’t know I had a TV, was at the wrong angle to the TV and so was ignoring it or didn’t know where the remote was/how to use it. The simple truth is I don’t watch TV. I probably could have found something but I was loopy enough with benadryl IV frequently and morphine drip plus PCA. I could not stay awake long enough to eat my lunch one day; first I napped on the plate cover then I kept being found sleeping while holding a forkful of salad. After 2 hours they gently took my food and offered me a snack. And the TV remote.

        I am so used to not watching TV I forget most people do watch it. Nothing wrong either way, I just thought it was sweet that they were so careful I wasn’t bored when I had a room that looked out to interesting stuff and was not really thinking much more than concepts “sleep” “drink” “gas” “ouch” “where’s the PCA button”.

  7. Congratulations! This is great news, and I’m happy it’s going to happen so fast. Can’t wait to hear about your journey, you’ve listened to me on MWOP babble enough about my own.

      • I e-mailed Anja late last night to make sure a Twitter Attorney didn’t send her a @ceaseanddesist or the got @arrested. #Thatwouldfuckingsuck.

        She wrote back and said more server problems; she said it would be fine for a minute or two then crap out again. Said things were kinda “shaky.”

  8. Congrats! And I know you are happy about the fact that no cameras will be up your ass, but think of all the missed Instagram opportunities!! I’m sure there are some filters there that would make your insides really pop!

      • I used to like it when my patients in nursing homes came with colonoscopy pictures in their charts, especially if they were in color. Why the nursing home needed that is beyond me but I loved to introduce myself with the explanation that I already knew the patient inside and out.

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