Weekly Update 1/21-1/28

Hear ye! Hear ye! Let me make a few things clear. I am NOT Anja. I am not SWSHBN. No one has bribed me with paypal money, quinoa salad, or an RV. Since we were getting no response from the “mods” over at Headquarters I thought I would take it upon myself to re-instate the weekly recaps that many people miss. Contrary to what people think, alot alot of us are not on MWOP every fucking minute of every fucking day—–we have lives, kids, bills, jobs, etc. and appreciate the chance to just pop-in and catch up. That is what this is:  my weekly catch-up, [SNORT] style. It will post every Monday. You are more than welcome to leave comments, but I won’t stand for hateful, spiteful comments toward one another. We are all grown women (and Hevel) who can either discuss and choose to disagree or we can all shut the hell up. Clear?

You may want to keep an extra pair of panties or a bath towel nearby. There will be some snarky commentary along with the update.

MONDAY JANUARY 21, 2013

  • Princess Xyng will not be using her cell phone alarm to wake her for the holiday. She has five mini humanoid alarm clocks to do it for her. What holiday was she Facebooking about?   *black and white crickets chirping together about having a cricket dream not 5 feet from this bitch’s door*
  • MckMama was rather surprised to learn that she has boys because they have trouble keeping their underpants on. My boys both keep their underwear on. AAAAUGH!?!?!? Maybe I don’t have boys? Maybe I have spores?
  • Makes it a point to FB (perhaps in an attempt to cover her ass *LOL*) that she can’t find any underwear smaller than 4-T. The kids already wear big ass shoes that go on the wrong feet, so why not wear little shirts or something? Like put their legs through the sleeves, tie a knot around the tummy, and make a butt-flap?

TUESDAY JANUARY 22, 2013

  • Threatens residents of Des Moines, IA with a Friday night visit then vows to soldier on to Lincoln, NB by Monday evening. Husband and kids will be in tow, natch, so catch them for some deets and sprinkles.
  • A BABY ULTRASOUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MckMama makes a grandstanding ass of herself (and likely causes sheeple to reach for their angina medication or drop to their knees, weeping blessed tears) by s-l-o-w-l-y announcing that Hilary’s fourth child is a girl. Congrats Hilary  🙂  MckMama’s own uterus, however, is likely tightly clenched in revolt causing her husband a great deal of panic.

WEDNESDAY JANUARY, 23, 2013   =  Blissful Facebook silence. Peace like a river. Glittery rainbows everywhere.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 2013

  • Makes a quip how she is sure the guys at the car wash love when she rolls up. Two things pop into my mind:  MckMama listens to Wiz Kalifa in the car and imagines herself a bad ass gangsta when she sings, “I roll up, I roll up, I roll up, shawty, I roll up.” Or she is sure the guys at the car wash love when she brings in her giant car because they love cleaning—hey, they do it for a living right? “Muthafucka, Tony! This bitch don’t tip after all the couscous and mismatched Boden shit we dig outta dis car!? ” I know man. No air freshener for her.”
  • My camera broke. It is so fucking hard to show you pictures now that I have NO camera and NO blog. You’ll just have to find me on Instagram where I use my camera phone constantly. *sigh* *first world problems*

FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2013

  • She’s in Des Moines with the brood to meet and get “health” with you. Trust me….if someone offers for you to get health, run the other way. Please.

SATURDAY JANUARY 26, 2013

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She has lost 102 lbs. on her 29-day challenge with Iz! She will be gifted with i-Pads, i-Tampons, an i-Car, the HOPE diamond, and a bevvy of other Xyng crap. Doesn’t she look wooooooooooon-der-ful?

I’m not going to comment on the medley of Instagram photos she posts (assorted “meals,” etc) but there is one fucking awful picture that stands out. It is a self-portrait type. All you can see is a hot pink nose, hot pink shirt, nasty computer, and what appears to be a large smudge of shit across her left forehead. Worst. Photo. EVER.

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14 thoughts on “Weekly Update 1/21-1/28

  1. Alright Snort! Loved your take on MckMess’s week. Just a tad different than what we’re used to over at MWOP so thank you for the extra panties and bath towel warning. Hope you are feeling okay?

  2. THANK YOU! You are so right when you say that most of us don’t have the time to follow, sometimes fast moving, 2000+ comment threads.

    I appreciate that you stuck to the facts and your retorts are priceless. I know that you are also a busy Mama, so I appreciate you taking the time away from your family to do this!

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