Gambling for Monkeys

There are a few instances where it is preferable to use your cell phone’s “voice dictate” app instead of actually typing; these are when you are driving (of course) and are in the bed half asleep and too lazy.

It is no secret that Tracy Coenen and I are friends and exchange the occasional email. I read her email this morning about calling Jennifer McKinneys *MSC (many stiffed creditors) in the next week. I used the fucking voice dictate thing to answer her email, and this is the response word for word:

Again I realize that you have to protect the Predators friends see. What in the hell was that? I said protech

the creditors privacy Aryan. F*** me running. I am so pissed off that I cannot even dictate an email.

I would love to know what each individual creditor said to you when you call maintaining their privacy of course. I can’t

wait to see you on our Christian mission trip to Uganda. Hopefully we can do a little gambling and win a lot of monkeys. Oh my God, first we’re talking about predators and now my phone wnats

to go gambling in with monkeys. F****** hell Sirius I said. I need to start typing with my fingers and not use this lady voice thingy.

I said lazy voice thing not lady voice thing. I’m hoping that you’re laughing as hard as I am. I think my phone is restarted. God damnit. I said retarded not

restarted. This has to be the worst email I have ever sent. To hell with it. I hope you have a nice die. Gay. Bay. F*** really? Day. Have a nice day.

This is so going on the snot flies.

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8 thoughts on “Gambling for Monkeys

  1. Holy crap! I’m sitting in the campus computer lab, trying to laugh quietly, and am making all sorts of weird choked snorting sounds. This is priceless!

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