A fellow MWOPer and I have come up with a totes awesome contest. Instead of hitting us up for deets we’ll just give you the deets. How’s that?

And what is the contest? Caption that photo? Tell us the most awkward place you’ve urinated? Describe your furniture throwing ability? Finding the “GO” button in a RV? Ha. You bitches wish.

We want you to take your best possible “selfie.” Take a photo of yourself duck-facing, pretending to be asleep, making an ugly pouty face because you didn’t get your way, photograph yourself squeezed into clothes three sizes too small (bonus points for muffin tops), drinking from a bottle of Wesson oil, or a video of yourself doing some fuckingly horrible karaoke. Photoshopping yourself to 7 feet tall or to the width and breadth of a toothpick is permissible.

These submissions will be anonymous, meaning that I WILL NOT mention your name, user name, email address, etc. Email your entry to by Friday May 10th. I’m not into that shady voting shit where I tell you I’m going to pick a name a random then pick my friend as a winner. Voting will be done here at The Snort Files. There will be prizes to boot! No…real prizes. I swear. First prize will be a gift certificate to either ShoeDazzle OR JustFab (winner’s choice) for a pair of summery shoes or sandals! Second prize is a lovely, delicious smelling candle that contains real flower petals. Third prize is a bar of artisan soap.


7 thoughts on “Contest!

  1. This contest is pure genius! I wish I was comfortable taking a “selfie” but just typing that made me want to hurl a little… The world could use less duck faces lol. Who knows, maybe I will surprise you with one!

    • oh- and this isn’t a real contest unless you are giving away essential oils (from your stepmother’s brother’s aunt fifi).

  2. Jen, you can take whatever photo you like. Hide half your face with a vat of Crisco and a spoon. Practice doing your “makeup” so you look “mckawful.” The sky is the limit, props are awesome, and photoshop is totally allowed.

    • whenever I hear the word “selfie” I picture tween girls making ridiculous photos in bathroom mirrors… or you know, our favorite health expert who chugs whipping cream. Props could make this so fun. I am going to have to work on my dead eyes and manic smile for the photo. Thank god I have photoshop and sorta know how to use it!

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