You Haven’t Missed Anything…

It has been a boring summer thus far at Casa Snort. Since 6-inch goes down for his nap anywhere between 10:30 and noon we do our errands, outdoor play, and activities after his nap. Today after his nap we are going grocery shopping. Fun, right?


So the other day on MWOP some of you probably read on the OT side my freak out about family coming to visit and my only getting 4 hours advance notice. Yeah, I fucking LOVE how my mother and grandmother forget to tell me things. My cousins, Carol and Trae, live in GA but drove out to Phoenix to get their 6 year old granddaughter, K, to bring her home for the summer so she could see her dad (Carol and Trae’s son). While I was absolutely beyond thrilled to see family since we haven’t been home in nearly two years the preparations about killed me. I had a full on panic attack because the house literally looked like a bomb went off. It was laundry day, so we had a giant pile of towels, a giant pile of sheets and blankets, a basket of 6-inch’s clothes, Footlong’s hamper, and some of our clothes that needed to be washed. Cheerios and other tidbits littered the carpet, and I hadn’t done the dishes. 6-inch was fighting going down for a nap when I got the phone call from my mom asking what time they would be arriving. As this was a complete shock I said “Fuck” several times in true Snort fashion then got my ass in gear. They were able to pick K up yesterday and left Phoenix this morning headed home. They passed back by (Carol called last night to give me a heads up!) so I could meet little K. Oh my word what a sweet and beautiful little girl she is! I had gotten her a big Hello Kitty bag and filled it up with all kinds of Hello Kitty items and some candy. She and Footlong played and jumped together in our bouncy house. 6-inch, oddly enough, clung to Trae for dear life. I don’t know if Trae spritzed himself with toddler pheromones or what, but 6-inch was stuck to him like white on rice.


I went to TJ Maxx the other day and bought 4 pair of Guess heels and platforms ($400 retail) for about $90. J also let me order some tops from Old Navy since I am down to very few wearable shirts other than my exercising tanks. Here is a photo of me modeling one (with one of my new pair of leopard print Guess slingback heels):





In my own defense I probably would have looked better with some makeup. And the built-in shelf bra obviously can’t handle my ladies; I need a strapless bra.


As we cannot afford airfare to fly to GA and visit family we have decided to purchase season passes for a variety of Tucson activities. We have a family membership to the YMCA, and I haven’t been able to exercise really other than walking because of my back pain. I’ve finally gotten medical clearance from the doctor to begin a supervised exercise program, so hopefully I’ll be losing more weight in the coming weeks as I’ve seen at a plateau (82 lbs) for a couple of weeks. We bought season passes to the Tucson Children’s Museum, and it is a wonderful facility. We also broke down and took advantage of a Groupon to get discounted season passes to the one waterpark here in Tucson. If you go 2 or 3 times the passes pay for themselves. I’ll be honest:  the waterpark here fucking sucks. It is old, and with the severe heat here in Tucson during the day and cooler temps at night the slides have really taken a beating. There are 7 adult slides, and they are all warped and bumpy as hell. The waterflow will not even flow in a straight line down the middle of the slide during a straight segment—the water rushes all over the bumps and crannies and you have no control at all. I honestly thought at one point I was going to do a full 360 because at times I was riding so high on the wall of the slide. The boys enjoy the kids area, and 6-inch has fallen in love with one baby water slide. Both boys like the wave pool. We have to wear SPF 50 sunscreen and reapply it every hour to prevent sunburns, but hey, that’s what you get for living in the desert. At least the water park allows you to bring in containers of water and ice.


We offered to buy Mother and Father Snort plane tickets to come out and visit us, but Mother Snort has just started a new job and has no vacation time. After much convincing Father Snort agreed to come, and he arrives July 2nd and will stay for one week. We’re excited, and I know Dad is excited to get his hands on his grandkids.


I painted my toenails last night.


I cooked dinner last night (steak, spicy sautéed green beans with garlic, and corn on the cob), and thankfully there are enough leftovers for tonight because it is too fucking hot to cook.


Monsoon season starts officially on July 1st, and while I absofuckinglutely dread the humidity and miserable conditions inside the house (because we have a swamp cooler) I can’t wait to see and hear thunderstorms and smell rain. I miss the smell of rain. I also miss the smell of freshly cut grass.


I subscribe to the monthly Pop Sugar Must Have boxes ($35/month for a bunch of goodies guaranteed to have a retail value over $100), and the June box arrived. I literally let out a MckMama “Squeeeeeeeeeeeee!” when I found that one of the items in the box was the sequel to the novel “The Devil Wears Prada.” The sequel is entitled “Revenge Wears Prada.” It is set 10 years in the future and Andy and Emily (Miranda’s other assistant) have started their own magazine. So far it’s great, and I enjoyed reading “The Devil Wears Prada” as well.


After seeing maxi-pad and tampon commercials Footlong asked me was a period was. I explained menstruation, and while he understood everything he was totally grossed out. He then rationalized that if women didn’t have periods that there would be no people on Earth because babies couldn’t be born. Smart little whippersnapper he is.


I am enjoying, as always, seeing the unedited photos of MckMama that flow in during various Xyng trips. There was one of her posted yesterday of her hiking; it was taken from behind, and she is large and in charge from the waist up. Literally. She looked like a corn-fed white boy playing in the NFL.


That’s all folks. xoxo




13 thoughts on “You Haven’t Missed Anything…

  1. Do you think you have a shoe/shopping addiction? A serious question! (Perhaps its because I only shop when forced to (ha!) for clothes and stuff. I own two pair of shoes! one everyday sneakers and one “dress” pair of ankle boots-that are ten years plus old!).

    • I’m really fucking pissed right now because I typed a long answer to your question and my cell phone ate my comment. Damn T-Mobile. I have always adored shoes, but since I have planned my gastric bypass, had the surgery, and have subsequently starting losing a lot of weight I have given into my shoe longings more. I NEVER pay more than $39.95 for shoes because ShoeDazzle and JustFab have spoiled me; I’m such a good customer that I’m constantly offered specials and heavy discounts. I also buy shoes at TJ Maxx—like I mentioned above I got $400 worth of Guess designer shoes for less than $100. I only buy what I like and what I know I can re-wear in the future with several outfits. I don’t follow shoe “fads” like those weird platform sneakers that are popular right now. J and I give each other an allowance with each of his paychecks to do as we please; he tends to buy video games and guitar stuff, and I tend to buy shoes, gossip magazines, and will occasionally splurge on a pedicure or cheap jewelry. As for clothes, I have bought several hundred dollars worth of “skinny” clothes (sizes 12, 14, 16, and 18) at Costco and TJ Maxx because I knew I would need things to wear as I got smaller. As for clothing, I like to buy what I call classic staples: things that never really go out of style, like good jeans, peasant tops, tasteful strapless shirts, nicely cut t-shirts, etc. So, yes, in a way JA, I am a shopping and shoe addict. However, I was NEVER like this at 290 pounds. I lived in yoga pants and t-shirts, and owned a few pair of flip-flops. I guess I shop more because I feel better about myself. Thank you for being honest and asking an honest question!

      • Thanks for answering! I totally understand buying new clothes as you lose weight. Just don’t get the shoe thing lol but as I said before I’m just not into shopping for anything unless forced to do so! Thanks again. You’re looking great!

    • If it’s any consolation, Barbara, when we moved here from GA we didn’t know what in the fuck a swamp cooler was either. We’ve lived in one apartment, and 3 homes in Tucson in the last 10 years; the rental we’ve been living in since early 2011 is the first place we’ve lived with a swamper; the rest have had central air and we were much more comfortable. We have had to buy a portable window AC to use during the Summer months to make living more tolerable.

  2. First, you look great! Second, I, too, had to look up what a swamp cooler is. It doesn’t sound like it keeps the house reasonable cool at all.

    • Firstly, thank you! And secondly, a swamper works GREAT in areas with very low humidity. Half (or more) homes in Southern Arizona have them. The air is hot and dry here, and hot air is basically mixed with cool tap water and blown through vents. It was 108 yesterday but only 80 in the house. We run the swamper 24/7 and our electric bill is less than $90. We usually have it turned off and drained at the end of November and the gas furnace turned on for Winter. We shut the furnace off at the end of March and turn the swamper on. Now during the summer monsoon season (t-minus 2 weeks and counting) the air becomes hot and humid—mixing humid air with water just makes the house hot and humid. There have been days where it has been 110-115 outside and 92 in the house. We bought a portable window AC unit that we put in the living room, and it is capable of cooling half the house. It greatly helps, but with it running 24/7 from July-late September our electric bill is about $250.

      • OMG!! My husband would die. I keep the ac on 73 for him and he still gets hot. Poor guy is just so hot natured. I know dry heat is different because I grew up in CA. Our electric bill is $212/mo, but we have a big, mondo house.

        I’m glad you explained that to me. What I had read was so technical it didn’t make much sense.

        PS – You never emailed me back about the nails…………..

      • I did check out the nails! I wore my stash of fake nails in various patterns for a few weeks, and now my natural nails looks a little bumpy, splintered, and damaged. I’m laying off falsies for awhile, but when I’m ready to do nails I’ll check out your page again–I promise!

      • Yeah, those cheap brands will definitely do bad things to your nails. And I promise you that you’ll love them once you try them!! Oh hey, please friend me on fb

  3. Speaking of unexpected drop ins from the fam-damily… my big brother is awesome for many reasons but one big one: once he caught wind that my parents and grandmother were about to drop in on me and called me with a code red. That extra fifteen minutes gave me time to take the house from down-right embarrassing to “oops, you caught me in the middle of cleaning house”.

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