I have been stuck at an 85 pound weight loss (give a pound or two) since the end of May. I’m frustrated. I’m getting all my protein, and have even started drinking protein shakes again. When I eat fast food I don’t eat buns or fries. I eat salads and veggies, and when I want something sweet I turn to fruit or sugar-free popsicles. I have been busting my ass at the YMCA five days a week and can bang out a 750 calorie cardio workout in just over one hour. I am pissed, frustrated, and bummed.
I’ve discussed this with my surgeon and my new psychiatrist. Apparently there is a correlation (that I don’t fully understand) between fat and hormones. People who experience large amounts of weight gain or loss experience hormonal changes. My anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs have had to be adjusted. Two new drugs were thrown into the mix at the beginning of June, and they are both for sleep. I wake up in the morning and see bowls of cereal or bags from McDonalds and have no recollections of eating. My surgeon said that these two drugs can cause hunger and odd sleep-behaviors. My psychiatrist told me not to take them for a few nights to see how I do. I feel like I’m in limbo or am losing my mind. My anxiety is out of control somedays. I’m wondering if my thyroid has up and died. I made an appointment to see my PCP today and discuss my anxiety and sleep issues and she if she will help me until I see my psychiatrist again in three weeks (she has no sooner appointment…I asked).
I was told pre-operatively that I may experience these problems as my body fat changes. I have gone from a BMI of 48 to a BMI of 35 in 9 months. I’ve gone from a size 26 to a size 16/18. I realize that these hormonal problems will be balanced at some point once we can find the right cocktail of medications where I am calm, relaxed, and sleepy but not asking John to get me a Happy Meal and my not remember eating it.
To the naysayers who gave me shit and told me this was the easy way out I beg to differ. I’m lactose intolerant now, fart constantly, have to eat carefully, am nauseated at least once a day, and beat myself up everyday when the number on the scale doesn’t go down.
Forgive my ranting today; I’m just frustrated. And anxious. And a wee bit depressed. And I feel like a bitch complaining about something so petty as weight loss when some of you, my dear friends, are dealing with cancer, migraines, trigeminal neuralgia, ex-husband issues, etc. I’m also going to ask for a prescription for Fukitall. I hear it works wonders.