Hello ladies and Hevel  🙂

This past weekend was my 35th (cringe) birthday. Now some people celebrate birthdays, some don’t. Some enjoy people fawning over them, some couldn’t give a shit. Personally, I fall in the middle. I don’t expect a giant ass surprise party or a party at all, but it means the world to me when my friends and family let me know how loved I am and that they’re glad I was born. A cake. A bouquet of flowers. A card. A $400,000 CFD house with a balloon payment in 8 months. You know…the norm. But this birthday stung a little bit. Some of you may think I’m selfish and blowing this out of proportion. That is fine, and you are entitled to your opinion. What happened though did hurt my feelings, and I spent most of Friday night vacillating between crying and anger (with some PMS thrown in).

I have few friends out here. Most were travel nurses who have since moved on to other states. I have a fellow MWOP friend who is about 8 months pregnant, so I had a feeling she didn’t want a girls night out. I turned to my best friend here in Arizona. She lives in Mesa, which is a suburb of Phoenix. Given that we lives 120 miles apart, visits are few and far between. I called her my Mormon counterpart because she is exactly like me except she is Mormon:  a foul sense of humor, cusses like a sailor, drinks, goes to clubs, etc. I emailed her last Monday asking if she wanted to do a girls night out on Saturday, and she and her son (who is Footlong’s best friend) could spend the night. She sent me an emphatic YES!!!! We planned dinner at our favorite restaurant, I bought a new outfit, we planned to go shopping, and then to TDs which is….um….a gentlemen’s club, and then back home for cake and cocktails at midnight. One thing that Deena is famous for is cancelling at the last minute , and usually with shitty excuses. She’ll then post on FB photos showing her doing something completely different. I emailed her Friday to ask what time she was coming Saturday, and her response, “Oh, yeah, I, um, forgot that I was supposed to go to a church dinner.” Really? I find that hard to believe because she keeps a calendar in her kitchen with all per plans. I was devastated, hurt, angry, and made a big stink on FB. One of my fellow MWOP friends, M, called me out on how nasty I was (thank you, M, perhaps I was too nasty), but I had been looking forward to a girls night out all week. We can’t leave 6-inch with a babysitter or take him in public places because of his sensory issues (tantrums, head banging, etc).

I spent Friday night holed up in my chic cave (men have a man cave, I have a chic cave) with some pinot noir and episodes of Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix. I came out about 11:00 pm and found that John and Footlong had baked and decorated two dozen cupcakes (which, sadly, I couldn’t eat because of all the sugar and how sick it would make me), I had a bouquet of balloons, a special balloon that Footlong picked out, a bouquet of carnations from my parents, and 6-inch picked out one of those little balloons that come on a plastic stick. I cried. I was so touched because John has NEVER done anything for me on my birthday other than saying “Happy Birthday.” I got THREE triple-wrap LaMer watches:  tan, royal blue, and aqua. The tan and royal blue have chains and jewels, the aqua is just a plan wrap. Here is a photo of the blue one:


They are designer watches, and LaMer has designed a line just for Target. You can also visit their website to choose more colors, options for chain/jewelry, or design your own watch. I love them!

And, for shits and giggles, I got my hair colored again. The very first one of you that makes a MckHair joke I am going to boil you in coconut oil, sprinkle you with flax seeds, and feed you to the bunnies/cats/kittens/Roobii/Chib, Chub, and Daisy, and all the tutu-ed goats I can get my hands on.



18 thoughts on “35

  1. Well, first of all, I’m sorry that Deena let you down. That was really pretty crappy on her part. Second, it sounds to me like you did have a pretty good birthday after all. Pretty cool what J and the sammiches did for you (even if you couldn’t have a cupcake)! Haven’t told you that I was so excited to read that you guys will be taking a road trip back home. So excited for you all! It’s a long drive, but it will be so worth it.

  2. I was floored that John and the sammiches did that. John and I have been together 11 years and married for 10. All I have ever gotten is a card and him telling me “Happy Birthday.” No cake. No dates. I”ve gotten one gift the entire time we were married and that was last year; it was a DVD of the London Olympics that I desperately wanted. To see polka dot balloons (I have a thing for polka dots), two dozen colorful cupcakes that Footlong haphazardly decorated, flowers from my parents, and balloons from the kids was like a punch in the gut: it knocked the wind out of me then I started crying. I realized just how blessed I really and truly am to have a family that loves me despite all the myriad of shit I’ve put them through. And fuck Deena. I’m not about to be anybody’s friend when it’s convenient for them. And I wish we were passing through your state on our way home! I’d love to meet up with you and Marley!!!!

    • Wow, our hubs must have taken the same “Wife Appreciation” course (and flunked, obviously). I wish mine would be a wee bit more thoughtful at times but seriously, I can’t complain about my hubs because he is so good in so many ways. But gift giving just isn’t his thing. When I do buy something for myself, he never complains. There are alot, alot of asshats out there and I’m pretty darn lucky. From what you write, it seems you are too. My brother and his wife get each other gifts for ALL of the Hallmark days, but they just buy to buy. There’s rarely much meaning behind their gifts. They have so much junk that they don’t need. Ah well, we all have our weird ways. Yeah, Deena sucks. That was so not cool. Friends come and go but family is forever, and you’ve got a great family Snort. That’s all you need!

  3. So glad YOUR day took a turn for the better and you could feel loved by your family.
    I really love those watches! Wonder if,ahem,an older lady could pull that off. I went to the company site and saw one I really like. Guess I’d have to try on and look in a mirror.
    And I guess it is pouring oil on the fire but just when was your “friend” going to notify you that plans had changed for her?THAT is what bothered me the most about her situation.
    So sorry.
    Hugs beaucoup,Adele

    • She would have sent me a text message on Saturday morning because that is how she rolls. And on her FB page she had a picture of her son catching fish. If you like the watches go to Target and try one on. They are a bit tricky at first because it makes two loops around your wrist. And if you can’t find one at Target, send me your address and I’ll let you try on one of mine 🙂

  4. Thanks! I think I love, love, love the hair too. And I’m blessed to have John and my little sandwiches. I’ve fucked up so many things in my life that I am astounded at my good fortune in terms to family.

  5. Well crap.. better late then never.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY my friend. First off, shame on the friend who can’t get her crap together and takes you along for the ride. I wish you were closer to me in boring ole Illinois. We could have gotten together and perhaps found some crabs in the sand and I could have wrote: Snort loves MOM7 in the sandbox at some random playground.. No beaches here.. cornfields are all we got.. But I hope after all is said and done you had a good day. Somehow after you have kids, your birthdays are just another day of poopy diapers and everyone looking at you at dinner time wondering what you made.. Since money is super tight until I start selling Xyng (just kiddin).. I am sending you a HUGE (((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))) and some birthday kisses ****** love you my friend.. 😉

  6. i love the hair. wish I was brave enough to do that !@!! and I wish I lived closer we could have hung out.. I always wanted to visit a gentlemans club but never did .. we could tear that town up .. take care girl..

  7. Awww SNORT … happy, happy belated birthday and I’m so glad your boys gave you a lovely treat. I love your hair … you’re looking fabulous my friend.

    Ps … I’m sorry your pal’s a dickhead x

  8. Ahh yes those types of friends. Aren’t they just fabulous. Wish they’d grow up just a little bit and be “normal” like the rest of us that ya know play nicely with each other in the sandbox. Unfortunately my Mom and Bro are like that. I blame it on their ADD.

  9. I rarely read that other site anymore. WTF is goingover there?? More importantly this is my “check-in” with you 🙂 I hope life has settled down some! Happy belated birthday 🙂 And now the wine comes out… CHEERS!!

  10. Snort my love.

    I just ventured into OT and saw your post about things being rough.I am sorry for not offering a hug sooner.I know you have taken some flack lately over on MWoP and I as well as others have your back.Your one of my favorite people as I’ve said and don’t forget that.

    Stay strong.

    Love Henny

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