All About Me

My name is not [SNORT]; that is my nickname on another forum. There is a bankruptcy trustee who, in hearing a chain-yanking tale of financial falsehoods, responded with a grunting sound that could only be transcribed in writing as [snort]. My real name is Carmen. *shaking hands*  Pleased to meet you, and thank you for wasting a few minutes of your day here on my blog.

So, who am I? Let’s see…..

I am a wife to J, a devoted mother to our two sons Footlong (age 8) and 6-inch (age 2), daughter to Mother and Father Snort, sister to Brother Snort, and friend to many. I am 35 and was born and raised in Georgia, where, let me tell you, 99% of the population is absolutely NOTHING like that Honey Boo-Boo girl and her coupon lovin’ mama. J and I live in the desert on the left side of the country and have been here since 2003. I have a degree in nursing and worked as an RN for ten years. For the last 6-9 months or so of my nursing career I battled an addiction to narcotic pain medications. When confronted I had three choices:  go through the state board’s nursing rehab program and keep my license in good standing, deny the charges and appear before a panel to argue my case, or voluntarily surrender my license. I was burned out and depressed, and on the advice of my doctors and rehab counselors I walked away from the profession and have started over as a stay-at-home mom. I have been clean for nearly 4 years, and my depression/anxiety is under better control. It is ugly and embarassing, but hey….it is what it is and it is a part of who I am. I am genuinely happy, and I am grateful to have learned what I have.

What else?

I love to cook, I believe in being honest (yet tactful), adore traveling, am half Cuban, am an atheist, support gay marriage, abhor discrimination and intolerance, and can’t stand politics. I hate girly chick-flick movies, stuffed animals, sushi, radishes, liver, Mariah Carey songs, poetry, and cilantro. I don’t do Pinterest or Twitter. I have battled my weight since I was about 10 years old, and after years of failed diets, working night shift, and abusing my body I had gastric bypass surgery on November 6, 2012. Some people have given me shit for that decision (telling me I’m lazy and worthless and whatever), but my family and physician support it! I love shoes and accessories, collect cookbooks, and wish I lived by the ocean. I watch the Olympic games religiously as I also do Saturday Night Live, Masterchef, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, and a few other things. Above all else, I love my family, laughing, thunderstorms, fall, taking long walks with my iPod, and my friends. Welcome to my little corner of the web. Please fasten your seatbelt and prepare for an onslaught of profanity-laced musings. If you’re here looking for sunshine, kitty cats, photos of me duckfacing, and great do-it-yourself projects you are, sadly, shit out of luck.

23 thoughts on “All About Me

  1. Hee hee – I wanted to email you but couldn’t find an address, so this had to do. Great to finally be in touch with you. 🙂

  2. I just started reading your blog. I have read your posts at MWOP, and such great things have been said about your blog, so I had to check it out myself. I find your honesty refreshing and your sense of humor hilarious. Your blog is now bookmarked, and I will visit regularly because I enjoy your writing, tales, stories, humor, truth, and swear words:) Keep up the good work!

      • I would like your email address, as I noted you drink a lot, a lot of Crystal Lite, and I have scads of single serving ones in lemonade, orange, raspberry, and peach tea (NOT expired). If you would like them I will send them to you. I am on that other site, and I have noticed how kind you are, and I cheer you on from afar.

  3. Have you seen the picture (on facebook) circulating of a wolf holding a sheep puppet on his hand (he’s hiding behind a podium), and the puppet is delivering a speech to a group of sheep? It’s titled “State of the Union Address”, but my GAWD, someone needs to edit it and re-title it as a MckConvention Address or something more clever than that. How can I send you the picture?
    M in MI

  4. Your latest pix are incredible. I love following your journey! Stay strong. I have been out of town and away from internet. What has happened to our favorite train wreck? I am unable to pull up Mckmama Truths.

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