Two delightful friends of mine from MWOP recently went to the advertised Xyngular meet-and-greet in Oklahoma City. One of the ladies, my dear friend Skirts, won a month supply of the energy and mood boosting Xyng tablets. She sent them to me as she has pre-existing health conditions (and common sense!) that prohibits her from using them.
I know alot of you think me a hypocrite for wanting to try the pills that I bash Jennifer McKinney for selling. I have had gastric bypass surgery; weight loss isn’t my goal. What I want to do is take these pills for 2 or 3 days ONLY and provide an honest, unbiased account of how they make me feel. Jennifer and other Xyngers claim these miracle energy and mood boosting pills cure everything from autism and bad joints to diabetes and depression/anxiety. Let’s see, shall we? Is my appetite suppressed? Do I have more energy? Am I more focused? Is my mood boosted? Am I a hot, sweaty, jittery mess? Is my heart racing? Is my depression/anxiety better? Does my shit smell like a fragrant bouquet of lillies? Did my forehead grow taller? Did my karaoke and dancing improve?
I feel at this point, for the sake of being totally honest, that I need to disclose my personal health information. I suffer from major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder; I am under the care of my PCP and psychiatrist for medication management (2 antidepressants [NO MAOIs which are dangerous] and a mood stabilizer). I suffer from rosacea. I am taking several vitamin supplements due to the gastric bypass surgery, and these include: multi-vitamins, iron, vitamin D, biotin, vitamin B12, and calcium citrate. I received an extensive health work-up prior to surgery including testing and evaluation by a cardiologist and pulmonologist. I have lost 80 pounds (not make believe pounds…..actual pounds). I do not suffer from chest pains, high blood pressure, migraines, asthma, difficulty breathing, abnormal heart rhythms, peripheral vascular disease, cancer, autoinflammatory disorders, sleep apnea, nor do I have a history of blood clots or a clotting disorder.
I plan on updating this blog several times throughout the day, so please check back.
10:40: Read the directions on the box of Xyng. I will admit that is it a pretty package. It says: “SUGGESTED USE: Adults, orally take 1 capsule mid-morning and/or mid-afternoon, 2 hours after a meal or on an empty stomach. Benefits should be noticed within 60-90 minutes. Do not take too late in the day as sleep may be impaired. Do not take more than 4 capsules per day.” If memory serves I have seen Jennifer post photos of two capsules, so that is what I took. I chased them down with a small glass of Crystal Light and then cracked open a chocolate Premier protein shake. This is totally unrelated to Xyng, but I have been upping my protein intake since I am losing hair.
11:20: Return inside after playing in the backyard with 6-inch for 40 minutes. I feel nothing. Drink more Crystal Light and protein drink. Pee.
11:42: I’m starting to feel like I’ve had coffee (which I haven’t). The two Xyng capsules total 180 mg caffeine (90/tab), so in doing some research online 180 mg caffeine is the equivilent of a short coffee from Starbucks with no milk or cream. Short = 8oz. 6-inch has just gone down for his nap, so I’m going to do some light housework.
12:30: Have been putting away toys and am about to clean the hall bathroom. I am feeling like I have had a helluva lot of coffee, and what I call my “unders” (underarms, under boobs, etc) are all kinds of sweaty. It is 74 degrees in the house so I’m suspecting it is the supplements making me sweaty.
1:18: I heated some leftovers for lunch, sat down, and just stared at them. I honestly feel like if I eat I will barf. I drank some Crystal Light.
1:40: As I am not allowed to skip meals per my surgeon’s instructions I made myself sit down and eat. I was only able to eat half of what I normally would eat for lunch, and I had to follow that with a Zofran tablet for nausea. I am now getting ready to wake 6-inch from his nap so that we can go and pick Footlong up from school. We normally would walk, but it is nearly 100 degrees today so we will drive. I just checked my BP for good measure; BP 121/76, heart rate is 84. I don’t feel like my heart is racing, and other than the sweating and nausea I feel nothing out of the ordinary. I don’t feel happier or more focused either.
2:30: 6-inch and I lay down in bed for snuggles, and I fall asleep. I guess the caffeine wore off.
3:25: Footlong and 6-inch are busy playing in Footlong’s room. I take another two Xyng tablets as instructed to reach my total of four for the day.
3:35: I still have no appetite, but I make myself eat some almonds and sunflower seeds because I need the protein. I am drinking my normal amount of fluids.
4:41: Feeling more energy, like I just chugged some Starbucks. Still not noticing anything “special” about these damn pills: no mood elevation, improved focus and/or concentration, etc. Am also not feeling jittery which is good. I have no appetite at present, but we’ll see how I feel at dinnertime (7:00 pm).
5:20: And the caffeine has introduced itself to my intestines. Do any of you ever get diarrhea from having too much caffeine? Yeah, me too. Excuse me whilst I head to the bathroom.
5:47: As far as I am concerned Jennifer McKinney’s claims about these pills are complete and utter bullshit. People with diabetes, painful joints, arthritis, depression, etc. likely show symptom improvement with losing weight NOT with taking these over-priced crappy capsules. I have experienced no increased mental focus, clarity, concentration, mood elevation, headache relief (did have a headache this morning because it is “that time of the month”), or any other effects besides a moderate caffeine rush. I’m not taking any more tomorrow or any other day. What a crock of shit. Am I surprised? No, not really, but at least you have an HONEST testimony as to the efficacy of Xyng.