Summer…….[SNORT] Style

Hello everyone! I appreciate those of you that commented here or sent me an e-mail asking for an update. Right now I’m on my mom’s computer and can’t upload pictures, but if you check back later today I promise there will be photos. Really. I promise. Not like a MckMama promise. You’re welcome.


I just have to say again that the MckFacts mods are running a great site. I read a few times a week and can’t believe Jenny isn’t wearing a XXXL orange poncho to brave the shitstorm she is in. I have made mistakes in my life, but damn; that girl just doesn’t have a fucking clue.


Footlong and 6-inch are doing well. 6-inch just turned three and started preschool. He meets the criteria set forth by the Arizona Early Intervention Program for free preschool and necessary therapies (speech and OT). He goes to school 4 mornings a week, and his favorite thing by far is riding the school bus. We are also noticing an increase in his vocabulary and his trying to mimic our words. Here are some words that came out of his sweet little mouth this week:  Daddy, Mama, cookie, milk, go, yay!, night-night, purple, and green. We’re ecstatic. Footlong will be 9 next month and is enjoying the third grade. He has a ton of homework every night, and I certainly don’t remember having that much homework in elementary school. Right now he is obsessed with Canada. I pick up souvenir patches from wherever I travel, and he picked out a patch of the Canadian flag and had my mom sew it onto one of his shirts. For his birthday he says he wants me to exchange some American currency for some Canadian currency. I bought a nice picture book when I drove through the Yukon Territory, and he pours over and talks about how beautiful everything is. I wish I could afford to take him on vacation!!


My mom and dad have begun to take baby steps in moving out here. I’ve had some health problems for awhile so my mom moved out here and in with us. While she looks for work Dad will be fixing their house up and putting it on the market. I’ve openly talked here about my struggles with mental illness and past use of drugs. My depression and anxiety are under better control. I’m currently on Paxil, vitamins, Seroquel (at bedtime for sleep), Prazosin (a BP medication that works to prevent nightmares and night terrors in those with severe depression and PTSD), Phenergan (as needed for nausea), and Ativan (as needed for anxiety). I’m not going to hide or gloss over things, but my anxiety was so bad for the past year that I started drinking to feel calmer. Poor choice, I know, but least there was no drunken karaoke. I’ve been dry and sober since March and have added complementary therapies to help me heal all around. In addition to my psychiatrist I am now having talk therapy with a counselor, accupucture twice a week, and chiropractic adjustments twice a week. I am feeling like my old self. I’m sharing this because I know that some of you may be depressed, anxious, or self-medicating with alcohol and pills. You’re not alone. If you want to chat privately you can email me at

I’ll try and get some photos on here later. I hope everyone is well, and I miss my MWOP gals. xoxo




Greetings And Salutations!

I have let this blog fall by the wayside, and I must admit that I haven’t missed it all that much. I did, however, get a sweet email this morning from someone asking for an update. As 6-inch is currently occupied with a cartoon I figured what the hell….let’s update The Snort Files.


Firstly, I miss so many of you! The owners of the new MckFacts site are doing a great job, but I have been blocked from commenting. I don’t know why, and it really doesn’t matter. I know that my blunt honesty and previous problems have made me a pariah of sorts. I read MckFacts once a week or so to see what is going on with everyone’s favorite train wreck, but I don’t read the comments. I absolutely LOVED the side-by-side photos of her before and “after” weight loss while she was in a bathing suit on the cruise. Pure gold! And the new lawsuits…hello?!? How much fucking money can this woman piss away? I read on the news today that Vibram (the makers of those ugly ass finger shoes she wears) is being sued for making false claims. I bet JM will elbow her way to the front of the line for a financial settlement because, hey, that woman can smell money like a pig can smell truffles.


How are Footlong and 6-inch? They are doing well and growing like weeds! Footlong finishes 2nd grade next week, and I’m a little sad. He is getting kind of tall and gangly and reminds me of a little colt who is all legs. 6-inch will be three this summer, and right now we are busy with occupational therapy (twice a week), developmental therapy (once a week), and feeding therapy (once a week). He is eligible for the state-sponsored early intervention preschool when he turns three, and the great this is that he will receive his therapies for FREE at school. That will save us a few hundred dollars a month in insurance co-pays. He can say “go,” “outside,” “catch,” and “Hi!” He mimics alot of our actions, like dancing or making funny faces. He loves to scribble, watch episodes of “Peppa Pig”, and play with toys.


Mr. Snort is doing well and is busy with work. Don’t know if I ever mentioned to y’all what kind of work he does, but he is an electrical engineer. He works at a company that designs electrical components and batteries for airplanes. He comes home and takes over with the kids, doing baths and homework with Footlong. After being with the kids and cleaning and cooking I appreciate the break. We have an extra bedroom here that I have turned into my “Chic Cave.” The room holds a few pieces of extra furniture and our extra TV, but it is my sanctuary. John built me a bookshelf so I could have a place to hold all of my cookbooks and culinary textbooks. It is heaven to sit in there and flip through my books and watch TV. I just appreciate the alone time. As for culinary school, I have been accepted at both schools I applied to, but I have had to delay my start until Mother and Father Snort move out here. Yep, my parents are biting the bullet and moving out here. My Dad is retired, and my Mom is looking for a job. As soon as they sell their house they are Arizona bound. They will help with childcare when I start school.


And as for me? I really don’t know where to start. I had mentioned in the past that my anxiety and depression had been vacillating wildly, and I was having panic attacks. My psychiatrist has taken me off of my Wellbutrin and changed my Zoloft to Paxil. That has helped tremendously. I’ve also been weaning off of my Ativan, and I’ve gone from 4 tablets a day to 1 tablet every evening because that is when my anxiety settles in. My life isn’t all peaches and cream; I still have my bad days, but they, thankfully, are fewer and farther between. I have lost about 110 lbs and am now a comfortable size 16 (or 18 depending on the fit). I’m friends with alot of MWOPers on FB, and I know they’ve seen photos of me, but I’ll post some below along with some photos of the kids.


I wrote something here but have deleted it. I’ve decided that for right now perhaps I should keep my mouth shut to forgo the shit storm that would likely be coming my way.


I really miss you guys. Drop me a line here and tell me how you are!



Me and 6-inch out shopping on Wednesday. There were heavy winds and dust storms, so please excuse my hair.




This is what I looked like before the wind got to me.




Size 16 jeans! (And yes….I am wearing heels. And yes….I am without makeup.)




How my toddler watches TV.




Me and Footlong last month.




6-inch after his big boy haircut.




Footlong showing off his haircut.




Yogurt! Nom-Nom-Nom!!!








We went to the Pima County Fair two weeks ago, and the Arizona sun made me it’s bitch.




Sharing a candy apple on the way home from the fair.


And that about does it!









Happy New Year And All That Jazz

I am surprised yet not surprised that I haven’t blogged for so long. Too many things have been going on in the House of Snort. Let’s play catch-up:

  • Since late October Mr. Snort has been working 6 days a week, and I have been feeling the frustration at home. I clean the home in the mornings only to have it look like Hurricane 6-inch (a category 3 minimum) whipped through the house spilling beverages, throwing toys, and taking everything atop a table and swooping it to the floor.
  • My Footlong has lost both of this top teeth, and I think he looks like a little bat. It is sooooooooooooo cute!
  • We have found a delightful babysitter that loves both boys and is able to easily handle 6-inch and his communication/behavioral difficulties. She is wonderful. John and I have been on two dates!
  • I recently spent five days in the hospital (including Christmas) for a wicked stomach bug and was so severely dehydrated I was barely conscious. I kept the hubby and kids away from the hospital, and no one else got sick. I wanted to post some photos of my kids on Christmas, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I wasn’t there to see Christmas morning in person, and I’m having to rely second-hand on photos and videos. That breaks my heart.
  • I’m not sure exactly what I’ve been accused of at MWOP (like I care), but I don’t and have never Tweeted, Instagrammed, contacted Mck other than to play my Golden Ticket, do not own another blog, and do not comment under other names. There. Just wanted all of that said.
  • Todays forecast is for sunshine with a high of 71 and low of 37.
  • I was accepted to culinary school and was supposed to be started in two weeks. I have had to put it on hold indefinitely as the state now wants to test 6-inch for autism. He currently receives Speech Therapy, and we are now adding Occupational Therapy, Sensory Therapy, and Feeding Therapy into the mix. There is also talk of a brain MRI just to make 100% sure that his little noggin is ok. I feel overwhelmed. And hopeful. And sad, like there is something I did to my baby in utero. He is 2 1/2  and can speak 2 words, and his non-verbal communication skills have improved ten-fold. He can follow simple commands and loves to play silly games that I make up on the spot. Sweet, sweet, baby.
  • I saw my bariatric surgeon before the holidays, and he said that he was not surprised my weight loss had slowed to a crawl given the psychotrophic medications I was on. We are thinking of perhaps weaning off drugs to see if it helps weight loss. He says patients on a ton of antidepressants and anxiety stuff hold onto fat for dear life. I’m blessed to be healthier and much happier, but oh how wonderful it would be let go of some more (literal) baggage.
  • And that’s all for me. How are you doing?

To Be Bat-Shit Crazy, or not to be Bat-Shit Crazy……Those are the Unfortunte Questions

I apologize; I just figured with all I’ve been through mentally and physically lately that the title was fitting.

Since coming forward repeatedly on MWOP with issues regarding gastric bypass surgery, medication absorption, medication changes, anxiety/panic attacks I decided to blog about it. There are a lot of you who talk privately with me about your weight and/or mental illness, so I dedicate this post to all of you who struggle daily like I do. Now at the beginning of the surgery (just over one year ago) I had been on the same medication regimen for a little over 2 years. We’ll start at the beginning:


Weight:  293.5


Wellbutrin 100 mg three times a day

Zoloft 100 mg a day

Gabapentin 300 mg a day

Seroquel (for sleep) 50-100 mg

February 2013

Weight:  245-ish

After complaining to my PCP about increasing anxiety and panic she figured that is was a medication absorption issue. She increased my Zoloft to 150 mg a day and provided some Ativan to use as needed for severe feelings of panic.

May 2013

Weight 205

Started seeing new psychiatrist at the urging of my PCP for professional management of my mental health issues—namely depression and anxiety were going through the roof.

Wellburtrin stayed at 100 mg three times a day

Zoloft increased to 250 mg a day

Seroquel increased to 100-200 mg for sleep

Gabapentin 300 mg day

NEW med:  Remeron 15 mg at bedtime. Helps with sleep. Causes weight gain.

ANXIETY:  Takes me off of Ativan as needed. Gives me something in the same family of Ativan and at a teeny, tiny dose. I think my 90 pound Maw-Maw wouldn’t have been phased by the dose.

End of September/Beginning of October 2013

Weight 200 lbs (Thanks, Remeron!)

I am in a near constant state of nervousness and panic. I have tremors in my hands, and my left eyelid twitches uncontrollably. See my PCP who takes me off Remeron, reduces my Wellbutrin to 50 mg three times a day (the less I weigh the less I need), puts me back on anxiety medication, gives me a bear hug (she is also a friend) and lets me cry for a few minutes. Recommends new psychiatrist.

Last Week

Weight:  205 (haven’t been in a good state of mind for a few months therefore haven’t exercised. At all.)

Saw my new psychiatrist, Dr. C. I love this man. We had a two hour session, and went over everything in detail. He took good notes. He told me I was having legitimate problems and was not going crazy. He said that the Wellbutrin at 100 mg three times a day was too much for me now and likely accounted for the hand/eyelid tremors. He also mentioned that Wellbutrin and Zoloft in higher doses worsen anxiety. (HELLO!!!!!) He is weaning me off the Zoloft and starting me on a low dose of Paxil. He continued the Ativan as needed as his way of thinking I may need help on the side until we get me in a good place. He also gave a me a small dose of s short-acting sleeping pill to turn my brain off and let me fall asleep.

And today:

I am feeling better. The new lower dose of Wellbutrin 50 mg three times a day works will and does not cause any side effects. Coming of Zoloft and starting Paxil are fine. I’m sleeping well but still having problems relaxing so I use the anxiety meds when I need to. I’m not supposed to drink alcohol, but when I thought I was going crazy I brought back the cocktail hour, and I need to stop. FYI, the cocktail hour consists of two vodka martinis or two glasses of Pinot Noir. I figure the alcohol and lack of exercise are stalling my weight loss because I’m still not eating a whole lot. My goal now is to go from a size 16/18 to a 14 by Christmas.

If any of you would like to discuss your problems/comments/questions, etc in the comments section that is fine. Just remember I’m not even a nurse anymore! If you’d feel more comfortable talking privately you can always reach me at

Getting Caught Up

It has been a whole month and half since I’ve sat here and blogged, and to tell you the truth, I really haven’t missed it much. The boys are doing well. Footlong turned 8, loves second grade, and was a police officer for Halloween. 6-inch receives speech therapy once a week, and while he still isn’t speaking verbally his non-verbal communicational skills have improved by leaps and bounds. We’re looking to get him into a sensory therapist, and he is on the waiting list to see a development at the University Hospital. For Halloween he was a baby biker dude and was supposed to wear a red do-rag to complete the costume, but we are at the phase where he will allow NOTHING on his head.

As for me all of the changes in my psychiatric medications had me close to a nervous breakdown. I had been self-medicating with anti-anxiety and even started drinking vodka martinis to help calm myself down. I realized I was in a bad place and I saw my PCP who urged me to find another psychiatrist. He is wonderful, and with me sporting my heels I’m about an taller than he is. He was flabbergasted at some of the stuff the old psychiatrist had me on. He halved the Wellbutrin (I knew I was taking too much!), took me off of Zoloft because in high doses (250mg here!) can cause anxiety. I weaning off Zoloft and started on a low dose of Paxil which seems to work better with chronic anxiety. My night-night medication stayed the same, and he gave a script for Ativan to take daily until my system “finally comes together [his worlds not mine]. Nice guy.

The Jackson 4 has never celebrated Thanksgiving with a traditional turkey and stuffing meal. No sir. Every year I pull out my two Bon Apetit cookbooks and one Gourmet magazine and write down a bunch of choices. From thousands of pages we whittled the choices down to about 80 or so. We agreed easily enough on the app, wanted to try lamp chops for the protein since we’ve never had lamb, I chose the starch, and J chose the veggie. Dessert was unanimous:  Pumpkin praline tiramisu.

I’m so glad to have made some friends here. The first is Cha from Australia I believe ( with a handy dandy number of  Her endearing message to me:  Ur a pig. Not funny. Get off MWOP. U suck.”   Thanks for taking the time to write in, Cha. Now piss off.

My new friend seems equally as lovely. Her name is Coco and writes to us from  and an ID of Carmen your such a fucking hypocrite.  You think you are the queen of mwop and all you are is a fat attention seeker. Go take care of your kids or better yet clean your pigsty house. You make me sick and you are the laughing stock of mwop.  What in the fuck are we, Coco? Thirteen year old girls You wanna come and pull my hair before I dig my fingers in your eyes? Sheesh.

I am the very first one will stand honestly and proudly and talk about my mistakes, problems, shortcomings, etc. I choose to rag on Jennifer not to be mean but total incredulity and in hopes that the bitch will get her shit together. I don’t care what all of you think of me. I invited folks to join me for Thanksgiving if they didn’t have any family or were lonely. Got downvoted there (boo fucking hoo). I made mention how to help survivors of Super Typhoon Hiyuan by texting numbers and each text worth $10. Got pissed on that one too. I offered some comforting words to a fellow MWOPer going through a miscarriage—even got downvoted there. . Some of you bitches just need to grow up and put on your big girl panties. I don’t have to hide behind an email name or vote someone down just because I can remain anonymous. That’s all I imagine:  a pen full of yellow bellied chickens.  Speaking of chicken I need to pull dinner out of the freezer.


Hello ladies and Hevel  :)

This past weekend was my 35th (cringe) birthday. Now some people celebrate birthdays, some don’t. Some enjoy people fawning over them, some couldn’t give a shit. Personally, I fall in the middle. I don’t expect a giant ass surprise party or a party at all, but it means the world to me when my friends and family let me know how loved I am and that they’re glad I was born. A cake. A bouquet of flowers. A card. A $400,000 CFD house with a balloon payment in 8 months. You know…the norm. But this birthday stung a little bit. Some of you may think I’m selfish and blowing this out of proportion. That is fine, and you are entitled to your opinion. What happened though did hurt my feelings, and I spent most of Friday night vacillating between crying and anger (with some PMS thrown in).

I have few friends out here. Most were travel nurses who have since moved on to other states. I have a fellow MWOP friend who is about 8 months pregnant, so I had a feeling she didn’t want a girls night out. I turned to my best friend here in Arizona. She lives in Mesa, which is a suburb of Phoenix. Given that we lives 120 miles apart, visits are few and far between. I called her my Mormon counterpart because she is exactly like me except she is Mormon:  a foul sense of humor, cusses like a sailor, drinks, goes to clubs, etc. I emailed her last Monday asking if she wanted to do a girls night out on Saturday, and she and her son (who is Footlong’s best friend) could spend the night. She sent me an emphatic YES!!!! We planned dinner at our favorite restaurant, I bought a new outfit, we planned to go shopping, and then to TDs which is….um….a gentlemen’s club, and then back home for cake and cocktails at midnight. One thing that Deena is famous for is cancelling at the last minute , and usually with shitty excuses. She’ll then post on FB photos showing her doing something completely different. I emailed her Friday to ask what time she was coming Saturday, and her response, “Oh, yeah, I, um, forgot that I was supposed to go to a church dinner.” Really? I find that hard to believe because she keeps a calendar in her kitchen with all per plans. I was devastated, hurt, angry, and made a big stink on FB. One of my fellow MWOP friends, M, called me out on how nasty I was (thank you, M, perhaps I was too nasty), but I had been looking forward to a girls night out all week. We can’t leave 6-inch with a babysitter or take him in public places because of his sensory issues (tantrums, head banging, etc).

I spent Friday night holed up in my chic cave (men have a man cave, I have a chic cave) with some pinot noir and episodes of Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix. I came out about 11:00 pm and found that John and Footlong had baked and decorated two dozen cupcakes (which, sadly, I couldn’t eat because of all the sugar and how sick it would make me), I had a bouquet of balloons, a special balloon that Footlong picked out, a bouquet of carnations from my parents, and 6-inch picked out one of those little balloons that come on a plastic stick. I cried. I was so touched because John has NEVER done anything for me on my birthday other than saying “Happy Birthday.” I got THREE triple-wrap LaMer watches:  tan, royal blue, and aqua. The tan and royal blue have chains and jewels, the aqua is just a plan wrap. Here is a photo of the blue one:


They are designer watches, and LaMer has designed a line just for Target. You can also visit their website to choose more colors, options for chain/jewelry, or design your own watch. I love them!

And, for shits and giggles, I got my hair colored again. The very first one of you that makes a MckHair joke I am going to boil you in coconut oil, sprinkle you with flax seeds, and feed you to the bunnies/cats/kittens/Roobii/Chib, Chub, and Daisy, and all the tutu-ed goats I can get my hands on.


Boring Is Good

  • I’m amazed that I still have some readers since I hardly ever write anymore. To those of you who are actually reading this…..Hello!

What has been happening in my life and at Casa Snort lately? Let’s see…..

  • I mopped the kitchen floor the other day (we have tile floors). About ten minutes later I went back in the kitchen and my feet found the only wet spot left on the floor. Both of my feet shot out from under me and I landed on my back. It knocked the wind out of me, but I was able to get up and walk. I knew nothing was broken because I could walk, had full range of motion, and didn’t have any numbness/tingling/burning, but the next morning I was in so much pain that I was having to walk hunched over. I went to urgent care and got some x-rays. The doctor offered me prescriptions for a muscle relaxant and for Percocet. I declined the Percocet knowing that the pain would ease up in a few days, but the muscle relaxant has helped tremendously.
  • Footlong is now enrolled in a clinical study sponsored by the University of Arizona Speech and Language department. They were looking for children ages 7-9 and are studying how much each child can comprehend in regards to vocabulary, reading, etc. They are also interested in bilingual children and wanted to know what languages J and I can speak. In his initial hour-long session with the investigators Footlong was given a test where he was given a sentence to read and then had to fill in the blank with an appropriate word that was missing from the sentence. They started him at a second-grade sentence, and lo and behold the child read sentences and gave vocabulary words all the way up to the 10th grade sentences. I am gobsmacked and so proud of my baby.
  • 6-inch is making slow progress in regards to his speech therapy. He can say two words, but his non-verbal communication has improved greatly. If he wants something he will come and fine me, grab my hand, pull me to where he wants to go, and put my hand on what he wants  (the doorknob means go outside, or he’ll open the pantry and put my hand on the box of cereal he wants). It is a joy to see him expressing himself more. He will also be getting evaluations from a sensory therapist as he has some sensory issues, especially in public places.
  • J and I have decided to drive home for the holidays. Airline tickets for the 4 of us came to about $2000. We can make the 4 day drive to and from for less than half of that…..and that includes spending one night both coming and going at Brother Snort’s house in Louisiana.
  • My body is absorbing everything differently since surgery. I was warned of this, and it is frustrating. I am now lactose intolerant and am punished severely when I consume dairy products. J bought an ice cream maker in June, and he has been kind enough to make me batches of fruit sorbets that are sweetened with Splenda instead of sugar so I won’t experience Dumping Syndrome from excessive sugar intake. My all-time favorite is kiwi sorbet. My depression and anxiety have been vacillating wildly over the last few months, and my psychiatrist has had to increase the doses of some of my medications. I was warned that this could slow my weight loss down as some psychotropic medications can cause weight gain. I have been at a loss of 90 pounds for several weeks now. Even with working out at the gym and eating as I should I am only losing a pound every week or two. It is frustrating, but I know I’ll eventually reach my goal. I’m feeling better mentally and am functioning better, and that is more important to me than dropping a several pounds a week.
  • J had a birthday recently, and 6-inch and I snuck up to where he works and delivered 5 cakes and 5 gallons of ice cream in addition to a candy bouquet for him. The kicker? We went to surprise him and found that he had gone out to lunch with his buddies. The receptionist helped me set everything up in the break room, and I felt like a total idiot sitting there with a fussy toddler and people giving me sideways glances. Somebody called J and told him I was there, and he appeared about ten minutes later. He was surprised and happy which made me happy.
  • I have turned our 3rd bedroom into my “chic cave.” Men have man caves, so I figured I could have a cave too. The bedroom holds extra furniture and our extra TV, and in the evenings after John gets home I get an hour or two respite in there watching TV, texting with friends, having a snack, and getting caught up on FB, MWOP, and the news on CNN. It is heavenly having some quiet time to myself after a long day of being a mom, cooking, cleaning, going to the gym, and running other errands.
  • I am having outpatient surgery on Wednesday morning (a minor procedure) and would appreciate any good thoughts, prayers, or juju that you could send my way.
  • I find myself commenting less and less on MWOP which probably makes some people very happy. Seriously though, I’ve just reached the point where I am so fucking sick of Jennifer McKinney and my making snarky comments isn’t doing anything. Me being nasty isn’t going to hasten Karma kicking her ass, so I just now mainly read and shake my head. I know for a fact she will have a visit from Karma sooner than later.
  • I have several pair of knee-high boots that I bought last winter after having surgery. My calves are now small enough that all of the boots zip completely and comfortably reach all the way to my knees. Sometimes it amazes me at how baggy my pajamas or older clothes are. I wore two different pair of jeans in the professional photo shoot I had done in March; both of them are no longer in my possession because they are too big. I put on my size 26 jeans that I wore the day of surgery, and they wouldn’t even stay up. I can pull them up to my boobs and let go of the waist and they promptly fall to my ankles. I’ve had to get smaller bras and panties. I am small enough now that I can shop at regular stores like NY & Company, GAP, etc. That right there makes me freaking happy.


  • reddress

I bought this dress prior to surgery, and it now fits!  And the picture below was taken by Footlong because he liked my shirt.





I need to get up and start dinner. What’s going with you??