Families and Groceries

Hey y’all! (said in my best Paula Deen voice)

As I was getting caught up on Facebook this morning, I came across a link posted by one of my best friends from high school. This photo slideshow shows families from countries around the world posing with one weeks worth of their groceries. I cannot begin to tell you how interesting and telling these photos are. America is one of the richest countries in the world, and after seeing the image of the American family and their groceries it is easy to see how money and convenience are making more and more people obese. I’m not trying to piss anyone off by saying that, and Lord knows I used to eat that way, particularly when I was still single and working night shift. The family from Chad had so little food to feed six people! The Germans by far drank the most alcohol, and the Mexicans outdid every family by far on soda consumption. I can’t say that my family eats exactly like any one country; nearly each country has some foods/habits that mimic the grocery shopping that I do. If I had to narrow it down significantly and honestly I would say that the Family Snort eats most like the Italian and Kuwaiti families but with a little less bread and no soda. We eat alot of fruits and veggies, and the staples we always have on hand include milk, healthy-ish cereal, eggs, bacon, whole wheat pasta, whole wheat bread (the kind that actually has a shit ton of fiber!), extra-virgin olive oil, chicken breasts, some kind of white fish (tilapia, catfish, cod, swai), 93/7 ground beef, pork tenderloin, cheese, no-sugar added peanut butter, and yogurt (Greek for me and J, organic kids yogurt for Footlong and 6-inch). We don’t buy soda anymore, and we hardly ever buy juice.

Here is the link to the photos, but I will also post them below. I would also LOVE to hear how your family eats and which country/countries demonstrate your eating style.

Link:   http://imgur.com/a/mN8Zs


















































































































































Life At Casa Snort

I haven’t updated this blog for 8 whole days. Wow. I was enjoying being a wife and mother and was glued to the TV watching all of the developments in Boston and West, TX.

Little 6-inch is really blossoming into a sweet little toddler. He still isn’t speaking (he will be 2 at the end of July), but he knows the baby sign for “more” and lets us know when he wants more food. He is also getting braver about trying and eating new foods, and for a child who has food texture issues like he does this is huge! This week he has discovered he likes biscuits, onion rings, fresh pears, fresh apples, fresh strawberries, noodles with butter, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. To his credit he did try edamamme but spit it right out.

6-inch and I spend many hours chasing each other up and down the hallway of our home while Footlong is at school and J works.

Footlong is looking forward to school ending soon. He went on a field trip Friday to a local museum and had a blast.

Footlong also lost his second tooth Friday evening!

I cooked Korean food this week. We had bulgogi (grilled, marinated sliced steak), jap chae (noodles made of sweet potato starch and stir fried with mushrooms, red bell peppers, onions, carrots, and cabbage), sesame broccoli, a pickled salad (cucumbers, onion, carrots, daikon radish, sugar, vinegar, salt, water), and kim chee. I hate to toot my own horn, but BEEP BEEP!

In the last month I have only bought 1 pair of shoes. I know….I am as shocked as you are.

The temps where we live are already in the low/mid 90s. I suspect we are in for a long, hot Summer.

J did the dishes today before I got up. I about swooned.

I am cooking dinner tonight. We are having fried catfish, oven roasted brussels sprouts, and corn on the cob. Drop by if you like. Tucson International Airport would be your best bet.

I really want to take a shower right now, but the dishwasher is running. I have to wait a bit so I can have hot water!

Footlong is going to a birthday party this afternoon.

Footlong will also be going to the Pima County Fair one day this week. One of us will take him while the other stays home with 6-inch. We know 6-inch will not be happy to be sit in a stroller for hours on end, and he will not ride any rides.

I have some friends that I would positively like to smack upside the head for various reasons.

A photo of MckMama’s youngest son eating a tampon showed up on a parenting fail blog today, and sadly I wasn’t surprised.

I got a grilled chicken bowl from El Pollo Loco for lunch, and those fuckers put cilantro all over it after I specifically ordered it sans cilantro. Cilantro is the devil’s herb.

And A Modeling We Will Go………….

































The day of the shoot I weighed 220 lbs (down 73.5). The jeans paired with the blue shirt are size 20 and are way too big. The darker jeans are size 18. Both tops are size 2 (Torrid does special sizing, but it equates to 18-20). All of the shoes and jewelry were already in my possession. I did my makeup but did stop at a salon for a blow-out. I painted my own toenails, and my nails were cheap press-on nails from CVS. And there you have it —Fat Lady Glamour Shots!

Candles….it’s what is for lunch.

After Footlong went to school yesterday we realized that he took the wrong paper lunch bag with him. His lunch contained a PB&jam sandwish, an apple, and some yogurt. The other bag, which he grabbed mistakenly, was full of small candles. That was the best part of today: trying to explain to the school secretaries why I needed to swap Footlong’s lunch.

Random Crap

I got the OK from my surgeon to take Lactaid pills when I eat dairy. They work pretty well, and I am sooooooo grateful.

I have discovered that I hate coconut water and coconut coffee creamers.

I have discovered that I prefer almond milk over soy milk.

I have lost 75 lbs. since the beginning of November. I have gone from a size 26 to a size 18. I weigh 218.

From my past experiences, I know that my body will not fit into a size 16 until I weigh 185 or less, and I won’t be a size 14 until I’m 165 or less.

6-inch is currently playing the drums using a spoon and a glass bowl that I left on the table. It is both precious and excruciating to listen to.

Footlong couldn’t sleep last night and got up around 11:00 pm to ask if I had sleeping pills. I asked how he knew about sleeping pills, and he told me about commercials he sees on TV.

No, I didn’t give him anything. He went back to bed and fell asleep on his own.

I recently finished the autobiography of Jenna Miscavige Hill. She is the niece of David Miscavige, the leader of the Church of Scientology. Jenna was raised in ths church and left a few years ago. Her book recounts her experiences growing up, and I am convinced more than ever that Scientology is nothing more than an abusive cult.

I seriously need a haircut. My hair is now brushing my shoulders, and that is too long for me.

I visited an awesome website Saturday and bought 12 tank tops in assorted colors and 12 camisoles in assorted colors for a total of $59.99 (with free shipping!).

The temps here in Tucson are already over 90 degrees, and it is just the beginning of April. Me thinks we’re in for an especially hot, miserable Summer.

We had a nice Easter.

6-inch had his own fun during the egg hunt. We laid out plastic eggs for him that were easily found. Instead of putting them in the basket he would run to the egg, pick it up, and throw it over his head. He ran back and forth throwing eggs for a good 25 minutes.

He did, however, discover a love of Reeses Pieces.

Footlong got an Easter basket filled with candy, toys, and a DVD of “Wreck It Ralph.” The Easter Bunny may have spent $45 on his basket, but I can neither confirm nor deny that. 🙂

I had a long phone conversation with a friend the other day. I look forward to hanging out with her next month if John gets his vacation request approved.

It is currently 10:12 am, 80 degrees, and sunny skies.

I haven’t gotten my CD from my photo shoot yet.

Some of you have sent me emails and FB messages wanting to know how it went. It went well, but I still felt like a total jackass. I did acquiesce and go to a salon Saturday morning for a blowout and style. I did my own makeup. I wore the aqua shirt and heels that I posted on a previous post. The photographer chose my jewelry and she had me in a chunky silver necklace, super long and dangly silver and turquoise earrings, and a bracelet. I also wore the black off the shoulder shirt with tight jeans. I wore a long, dangly gold necklace, big gold hoop earrings, gold bangle bracelets, and sparkly gold booties. Here is a blurry selfie that I shot in the mirror. My lens was filthy because 6-inch had been chewing on my phone. You can, however, get the gist of how I looked:


These are the gold booties I wore. I’m showing them because they are different from the shoes I posted in the poll.


They are, of course, from ShoeDazzle. I bought them in December when they were on sale for $39.99, and I had been looking for an excuse to wear them.

I felt like a jackass because the photographer was shouting instructions at me while loud music played in the background. “Ok, Carmen, smile big. Good. Now, shift your weight onto your hip….put your thumbs in your pockets….put your chin down….perfect. Now, don’t smile…..look at me and try to look sultry. Make sexy eyes. Great. Now, let’s go outside.”  Yes, outside. Traffic slowed down and people were gawking at me. I about died of embarassment.

I have a shit ton of laundry to do today.

Dream A Little Dream

Last night I dreamed I was a cast member on my all-time favorite show, “Saturday Night Live.” I was Paula Deen and I hosted a late night, naughty cooking show on Food Network called “Paula Deen Uncensored.” I made hysterically awful recipes that had complete disregard for fat, sugar, and calories….even worse than she cooks now. And during the sketch as I cooked I got so turned on by the food that I was rubbing frosting on myself and moaning and dumping a bag of skittles down my pants and faking the big O. Then me and the celebrity host demonstrated how to make a grilled cheese sandwich using two pounds of cheddar cheese, 2 sticks of butter, and a whole loaf of French bread. I then dipped it in beer batter and tossed it in the deep fryer. When it came out I jammed a skewer in it and ate it like a corndog, moaning in ecstasy the whole time. Justin Timberlake was the celebrity host, and as I gnawed on the fried sandwich I was dry humping his leg like a dog and shouting, “C’mon JT! Make me feel like Jessica Biel!” I actually woke myself up laughing.

The only thing missing from the sketch was my fat ass crammed into a size 28 Miss Me jeans.