Your Questions Answered

I’m friends with many wonderful ladies on MWOP and Facebook, and I even get e-mails from some of you. While I enjoy getting to know all of you I’m not always able to answer your e-mails and FB messages as thoroughly as I would like. There are also some questions that are inside comments that I don’t approve here on “The [SNORT] Files,” namely the ones that rake me over the coals because of my former drug use or my choice to “cheat” and have weight loss surgery. Since 6-inch is down for a nap right now I thought I would make a list of questions in various e-mails/FB messages/and comments and just answer them here.

Don’t you think referring to your first husband as “Asshole” is rude? How would you like it if he blogged and referred to you as something just as awful? Why do you think it is ok to refer to someone publicly as “Asshole?”

Well, that would be par for the course. Our relationship was abusive. We dated for two years before we ran off the courthouse one day and eloped. Things between us were absolutely amazing for the first 5 or 6 months of our relationship. He was romantic, brought me flowers, told me all those sweet-nothings that we women love to hear, and he proposed. As time wore on he started yelling, holding things from my past against me (like the fact that I had dated xxxxx or the number of people I had slept with), and threatening to kill himself if I left him. He told me I should be grateful that he loved me because no one else would because I was such a spoiled rotten whore. A pattern developed where he would get really, really mad, yell at me, belittle me by calling me names, and then leave. He would be gone for days and days then show up all of a sudden with flowers and an apology. Not long after we were married I discovered his long history of infidelity and his drug use. One night the cops were called after my neighbors could see him through the living room window pushing and slapping me. He had me broken down to the point where I had no self-esteem and believed that I had to stay with him because no one else would ever love a shitty person like me. Him getting arrested was a wake-up call, and I filed for divorce two weeks later. We have not seen or spoken to one another in over ten years, and we are both remarried. I could not care less how he would refer to me if he blogged. I’m certainly not going to use his real name on the blog; I would not feel right about doing that, but, honestly, I don’t feel bad at all calling him “Asshole.”

“Did you really live in the same neighborhood as Casey Anthony? What was she like?”

I did indeed live in the same neighborhood as the Anthony family, but they had not yet arrived when we lived there. Our house was built brand new in January 1986, and we moved in immediately. The house later occupied by her family on Hopespring Dr. was about 15 houses away. My old house was on Reginald Rd. We moved out of the neighborhood and back to Georgia in early April 1989; that’s about the time they moved into the neighborhood. The area where little Caylee’s body was found was a popular spot for the neighborhood kids to play. At the time it was a dead-end road, and we used to do down there and skate, skateboard, ride bikes, and just hang out. That little road was surrounded on all sides by woods, and on the right side of the road in the woods is where her body was found. The road, after we moved away, was extended to another neighborhood and elementary school built behind our complex. Using Google Earth, I have made this handy map:

You’ve been through bankruptcy and destroyed your career with your selfish addiction to drugs. What makes you think you’re so much better than MckMama?

I am no better than MckMama. I am no better than you. I am no better than anyone else. We all have skeletons in our closets and battle our own demons. Some people cheat on their spouses. Some people shoplift, and some people gamble uncontrollably. Unfortunately, my demons are a matter of public record. It is very humbling and embarrassing to know that anyone can read about my drug abuse. Do I wish people didn’t know my real name and had no knowledge of this stuff? Of course. But, for the one millionth time, it is what it is, and I am who I am; that just happens to be a part of my life story. As far as the bankruptcy is concerned, bankruptcy laws in this country are blind to who may file–they just have to meet the criteria. The bankruptcy courts don’t care if the debts were acquired through frivolous spending or an onslaught of bills, etc. The thing with bankruptcy is being honest and filling in all the blanks. We hated to file, but we had debts that we couldn’t pay while I was in rehab. We had lived paycheck to paycheck first with J in grad school then when Footlong got really sick when he was about 8 months old. We were always one major accident or illness away from having to file. We were upside down on our mortgage. Now, I am no better than MckMama, but at least I was (and am) honest. I didn’t try to cheat the system. We listed our incomes. We even counted what was in Footlong’s piggy bank to list as part of our “cash on hand.” We had John’s electric guitars and amps appraised; we had our jewelry appraised too. I didn’t under report my income by almost $100,000. I didn’t lie about deposits, cash on hand, etc. I didn’t show preference to repaying creditors (as she did with her father), and we certainly didn’t have monetary “gifts” to people. I didn’t sell an RV then claim to not own it and not mention how much I sold it for. My beef with her is that she is a liar. We have no tax debt! Uh, yes you do. Our BK is over! Uh, no it’s not. I would have no issue with MckMama whatsoever if she would just man up to her readers (from who she makes her money, by the way) and say, “Here is the truth in all it’s glory with no wordsmithing!”

What are the best and worst things you cook?

I had to ask J that question. He says my Cuban food and Korean food are his favorites. He says he really doesn’t dislike anything I cook, but I will say I make horrible mashed potatoes. They’re terrible.

Did you have Footlong and 6-inch with no problems?

The births were good. Footlong was born vaginally after a loooooooooooooooooooooong labor. I labored for 30 hours then pushed for 2 hours. He had quite the cone head, but all went well. I had a small second-degree tear and got 7 or 8 stitches. 6-inch was a scheduled labor induction at 38.5 weeks because my BP had been creeping up the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy. I labored for 12 hours and never progressed past 4 cm. My epidural wore off on one side, and I had the most fucking awful back labor. They finally took me in for a C-section about two hours later. As soon the OB pulled him out she found that his umbilical cord was coiled on top of his head which prevented any pressure on my cervix; that is why I didn’t dilate further.

Why don’t you ever mention J’s parents?

I dunno. They exist  ☺  He has a mom, dad, a younger sister, and a brother-in-law. We don’t have any nieces or nephews. We talk or skype with my family every day; we only talk or skype with them twice a month or so. That side of the family just doesn’t seem to be as tightly knit as my side. I lucked out in the in-law department though; they are all great.

If you could go back in the past and not choose nursing what would you do?

I would either have gone to the Culinary Institute of America in New York and be a chef or I would’ve moved to LA and taken classes with the Groundlings comedy troup to chase my wish of being on “Saturday Night Live.”

Do you drink?

I’m assuming you mean alcohol, and yes, I drink socially. I’ll have sometimes 3 or 4 drinks a week then not have any alcohol for six months. It just depends. When I do drink I enjoy a good beer (I’ve been drinking Sam Adams Cherry Wheat lately), a nice glass of white wine, or a cocktail made with vodka. I detest rum, Jack, Jim, and all other scotches/whiskies.

I think you’re brave for admitting you had a drug problem when confronted by your boss. What drugs were you using?

I was using narcotic pain medication, namely morphine and dilaudid. Those were the drugs given most frequently in the ER and the easiest to get a hold of. When I say morphine and dilaudid I’m not referring to pills; I’m referring to the liquid form that you inject as a shot. I’ve never used any illegal drugs like cocaine, meth, heroin, marijuana, etc.

What are you trying to prove by blogging ? You want to make money, right?

Do you see any ads or endorsements on my page? You’re welcome. I blog because a few people suggested that I should. And the keyboard doesn’t talk back to me.

 Are you going to document your weight loss journey here on your blog?

I think so. I have given it some thought. I’m going to do photos and videos. For two weeks prior to surgery I have to start on a high protein liquid diet, so when I begin that I’m going to document my weight and my measurements. That scares me because I know people are going to leave me comments calling me a fat cow disgusting pig, etc. I’m also going to document my weight and measurements the morning of surgery and perhaps once a week thereafter. I don’t want this to become just a weight loss blog because I know a lot of you may not want to read here if that is the case. Rest assured, though, I won’t post naked! LOL

How many people read your blog?

Eh, it depends on the day and what I blog about. My numbers have dropped since I left Blogger and started here at WordPress. Some people that don’t MWOP as much don’t know that I still blog—they visit the old site and see it is no longer there and figure I just stopped altogether. My highest ever number of pageviews in one day was over 6,300. I average anywhere between 600-2000 a day from about 10 different countries (mainly the US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Great Britain, Germany, Russia, Japan, and a few others that I’m forgetting). Sunday is by far the slowest day, reader wise.

Do you like living in Tucson?

Hell no. I’m sorry, but we don’t. Being so close to Mexico there are a lot of problems with gangs, drugs, and crime in general. It would be easier if we had family here, but to be honest, we never, ever intended to settle down here. After J got his Master’s degree, he sent out hundreds of job applications; the only job he was offered was here. We have an agreement that before P is old enough for kindergarten J will look for a job closer to home because by then he will have 10 years of experience in his field. There is not a big tech industry in the deep South, so there is no telling  if he can even find a job. We’re hoping for Atlanta, Birmingham, Raleigh, Baton Rouge, Houston, or a civilian contractor job at the air base in Warner Robbins, GA. Our goal is to be within a 6 hour drive of family.

You look like a total mess in your pictures. Why don’t you treat your rosacea?

How kind of you to notice that I have rosacea. I, along with my doctor and dermatologist, have tried every possible treatment:  Metro-Gel, Metro-Cream, a prescription strength hydrocortisone moisturizer, prescription face washes, prescription oral antibiotics [tetracycline, doxycycline, erythromycin, Oracea], over the counter products like “Prosacea,” and avoiding triggers that make me really red (crying, too much alcohol, and getting too hot). I have to use certain brands of makeup because my skin is so sensitive. My Maw-Maw has rosacea too. How would you like it if I confronted you in front of 1000 people and asked why you didn’t do anything about your bad breath or nappy hair? The fact here, my friend, is that I have tact and you don’t.

Hey, there was a photo you posted on MWOP once of you and 6-inch. You were wearing a green shirt and he was in a white onesie. You had a big smile on your face! Are those your real teeth?

I think this is the photo you’re referring to:

Yes, they are my real teeth, but I’m not going to feed you some bullshit that I was born with teeth like this. I had braces for almost 4 years growing up. I got them when I was 8 and got them off when I was 11. When I was in 1st grade lunch cost $0.75, and I could fit the three quarters in between my front teeth. One of my teeth on the bottom was turned completely sideways. I am fanatical about flossing and always carry those little disposable flossing thingies with me. And I bought a Groupon last year for ZOOM! whitening. I’ve always wanted it done but couldn’t afford the $500 fee; the Groupon was for $129, and that included a dental exam and x-rays too. Instead of doing the in office treatment once I chose to have molds made of my teeth and use the prescription bleaching syringes at home whenever I want. This photo was taken post-whitening. I need to whiten again soon because I drink a lot of coffee and Diet Coke. You like 6-inch’s CK onesie? Got a pack of 4 at TJ Maxx for $5! I love that place. That has nothing to do with teeth.

I loved hearing about you and Mr. Snort reconnecting and getting married in Vegas. Did you wear a wedding dress?

I wore a dress from David’s Bridal; J helped me pick it out! I had no idea I was this wrinkled though; I had just gotten out of the limo. FYI, this dress is a size 20.

Edit:  J asked me to post my wedding portrait taken about 3 weeks prior to the wedding because it is his favorite. For you, my darling (and y’all too):

 

 

 

 

That is more than enough for one post. As always, feel free to comment/e-mail/FB/hit me up on MWOP or whatever. I’m off to make love to the bottle of Day-Quil because we here at Casa Snort are all miserably sick. *cough*